I've made it to 40. Wow! I'm surprised. Being sick for a good portion of these years hasn't always lent itself to self preservation. After good doctors, the main reason I'm still intact is my Dary. He is an incredible man and I'm so fortunate to have him as my friend. I cover my feelings with smart ass remarks and laughter, but I was scared about today; it's one step closer to that day. Mom made it 15,129 days; can I make 15,130? January 18, 2010 is that day. I'm like my mom in some ways and different in others, I know. It's highly unlikely I'm going to go like her or in the time frame she went or ... this is silly but it's something in my mind. I made it past my natural dad's death day. One more to go, unless it happens sooner than that. Great Grandma Pierce used to ask how old you think and feel? I think and feel about 28 to 30. I behave like I'm about 5. I have the memory span of a newt (the hamster in my brain wheel is on sabbatica