Tulip's Tantrums

Author: Andrea Escobar Editor: Danielle Beutell How I Lost & Found Myself with Bipolar Disorder. I think deep down I always knew I was different; I always knew something was a bit off. My mind was always one step ahead of me and two steps ahead of everyone else—trying to finish the race before it even started. I would wake up at five in the morning, cook up a storm, and then start my day. I remember my mom saying I had “enough energy to power a small country.” They were jokes, but I wondered if it was “normal,” or if something was really off. One would think the diagnosis itself would have given me clarity and peace. After all, sometimes we have to go through the darkness to appreciate the light. But I didn’t understand anything about my illness other than what I was told: “You have a chemical imbalance, and you will be on medication for the rest of your life.” New doctors, same speech every time. I had enough pills to start my own pharmacy. I was on anti-depr

So I've been practicing mindfulness  for a year or so now. I am not following any religion or theological path - just trying to live in the moment and change my outlook. Wikipedia Psychology [ edit ] A.M. Haynes and G. Feldman have highlighted that mindfulness can be seen as a strategy that stands in contrast to a strategy of avoidance of emotion on the one hand and to the strategy of emotional overengagement on the other hand. Mindfulness can also be viewed as a means to develop self-knowledge and wisdom. Trait, state and practice According to Brown, Ryan, and Creswell, definitions of mindfulness are typically selectively interpreted based on who is studying it and how it is applied. Some have viewed mindfulness as a mental state, while others have viewed it as a set of skills and techniques. A distinction can also be made between the  state  of mindfulness and the  trait  of mindfulness. According to David S. Black, whereas "mindfulness" originally was asso

I'm having a really down day. Big crocodile tears, sobbing, feeling overwhelmed. I don't like taking any more pills than I already have to, but today I took a little blue calming pill. So far so good. Joanna's bachelorette was a blast. Unfortunately, I had to pack up Sunday because of the coming rain. That caused a bit of a commotion resulting in Kiershyn, Savannah, Joanna and Kennda leaving. Bre and Braunt were going to get another site so the kids wouldn't bother us, but without my trailer and with guests Braunt and Bre invited, things just didn't work out. Ellie seems to be sick with pancreatitis again. She didn't eat her breakfast or supper yesterday. She had a good poop and I got to mL of electrolytes in her (she went and had a drink of water after - stuff must taste like crap to her). Thus far she's eaten a little bit and had a firm poop (I know, TMI) and a couple of pees. Maybe she's on the mend on her own. We're still going to the doctor

I think I know a lot about nothing. I'm well read, but if no one wants to know what I know, then do I really know anything? Me thinks not. I've been doing a lot of reading of articles today. Everything from CBD vs THC for cancer  (I thought THC was the one for cancer - it appears I may be wrong) and leisure and anxiety, to castles in the Netherlands. How chemotherapy may actually spread cancer. Wine has really made a comeback and so many women just can't seem to do much of anything without it. I wonder why it is acceptable to become so drunk and disorderly that you can't get yourself home, but staying at home and having a CBD or THC (or both) smoke is unacceptable. Being a medical marijuana user, I see distinct advantages to pot over alcohol. I'm not wrecking my liver, embarrassing myself, being promiscuous, loud or obnoxious. Oh but, some will say, you're wrecking your lungs. Gotcha there - I use oil tinctures as well as smoking it. The oils take longer to