Tulip's Tantrums

I continue to believe that life happens. Not for reason; it just happens. That's not to say that circumstances don't play on events, but the start of something just starts. Mr. Stephen Hawking died March 14th.  Such an amazing, intelligent, intellectual man. His words play on my mind often. This is my absolute favourite quote: I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark. I'm not afraid of death, but I'm in no hurry to die. I have so much I want to do first. We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special. Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.  The past, like the future, is indefinite and exists only as a spectrum of possibilities. I'm an atheist. We are in danger of destroying ourselves

This is a repost from 2015. Wanted to share again. Monday, February 29, 2016 Pondering I've been doing a lot of reading on bipolar disorder. Trying to read without triggers affecting me. Trying to see that I'm "normal" and that others have been where I'm at, at different times. An article I just finished reading talks about what might have been. It's really got me thinking about the past 30 odd years of dealing with this disorder. What might have been? I would have been a nicer person. Less angry. Less mean. Able to hold a job longer than 2 years. Less destructive. I was a nice person though. A lot of the time. And I didn't let my anger rule me always. I loved deeply and liked most. I was a good worker who excelled in my career field and worked up through the ranks to the top. Unfortunately, I fell from the pedestal in a massive cycling disaster. Again. Now? I like to think I've gotten better over the years. I've conquered some of my

Today I found a picture of Jax when he was a baby. Oh he was such a little dickens - little ears halfway up, more brown than the black and sable he has now. Just so sweet. I'm so thankful we got Jax. He's such a good buddy. A great dog all around. Protector, snuggler, pain in the butt, playful, energetic, gives great kisses and loves Ariya and Hendrix so much. He makes me feel so safe. I know no one will ever come into my house without me knowing and whoever it is will be confronted by a 100 lbs of barking and growls and snarls. Well, it's time to head to bed. Tomorrow is a certain daughter-in-law's 24th birthday! This one picture was published on facebook, so we're good to go. Toodles! Save Save

I found this while looking through my documents. Just some of my thoughts from Jan 2015. Reflections Procrastination. I am procrastinating. About everything, not just food. No matter the amount of coaching from Kathleen, nor the talking with Theresa, nor self talk - I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. Sitting on the edge on a merry-go-round. Watching everything go past. Seeing mostly the same things over and over, every so often something new or something gone. The Circle of Food. Why are my wheels spinning with food? Do I know what to do with food? After a little more research, it would appear 1200-1500 is where I want to be to make some changes to my body. 1800 keeps me around 190 lbs which is just too much. There’s always room for fruits and veggies, but be sure to have proteins as well – and some carbs too. So I know what to do with it but how about actually eating it and desiring what I’m eating. Kathleen and I have talked about setting alarms, but I haven’t done i