Tulip's Tantrums

 This getting up at all hours of the morning is for the birds. Hell, even they aren't up yet. One of the joys of being me. All is pretty good here. Everyone's healthy, fed, roof over their heads, more things than they know what to do with. Very fortunate. I see all the people from Ukraine with their meagre belongings. Carrying their children and pets. Trying anything to get out of the war zone. The Russians had a little cease fire when they told the Ukrainians they could send their civilians out. It was very short lived; the Russians attacked the civilians and many were killed and wounded. I ask myself how someone could shoot another person, let alone a small child. How do you do that??? Speaking of killing people, what of Damien Starrett? On trial for killing his one year old baby, and assaulting his then 5 year old daughter by punching her three times in the head. His defence is that he had changed sleeping pills and was incoherent when the murder occurred. Damien's going

 Gas is going up and up and up. Diesel is over $2.00. Just insane. Kenney's lifting one of the provincial fuel taxes which will lower the price by $0.13. At this point I'll take anything.

 When is NATO going to do something to stop this madman, Putin? Not that it wasn't before, but this is horrendous! How long do the Ukrainians have to die, suffer, be displaced from their home, die, die, die. When you have a country of 44 million people (yes, I said it before) and less than 2 million have escaped? What does that say? Many countries have closed airspace with the U.S. leading the way. Putin has stated, in no uncertain terms, that this would mean war (not sure if that was his exact word, but there was no doubt about the meaning.) There are survivors of the Holocaust are watching people stuffing into trains and having flashbacks to the atrocities committed against them. Those people have been allowed to escape, if they can find a means to do it, but what about all those left behind? I imagine many are in rural areas that aren't being bombed, but they are still affected. Their families and friends in the cities. No power, water, sanitation. No way of contacting anyon

 The war in Ukraine rages on. The Russians are surrounding the cities to starve everyone out. There's no food or water, electricity and natural gas. I thought there was an unwritten rule about killing civilians in this type of situation. You're supposed to bomb the business and government buildings, a few refineries here and there, and communications towers. It is quite obvious that Putin doesn't play fair. He's committing fratricide. Has this not become bad enough that NATO will step in and at least close down the air space? Something! ANYTHING! Send more weapons and sustenance for the people. There are less than 400 reported  civilian deaths in Ukraine, but there's just no way. 44 million people live there and 1 million got out. It's simply impossible. The nuclear reactor they nearly obliterated is still being manned by the operators and technicians; working with guns to their heads. A little better aim and Europe would have been covered in radiation. Onto oth

 Does the world not know that it centres around me? Does Russia not know what their stupid, fucking actions are doing to my anxiety? It's all just got to stop. A new development is Belarus supposedly isn't joining the invasion. Why the hell do they call it an invasion? It's a fucking war. Russia is taking over so many big cities in Ukraine. A fire broke out at the Zaporizhzhia nuclear plant - the largest in Europe - after it was allegedly attacked by Russian forces early on Friday morning [Press service of National Nuclear Energy Generating Company Energoatom/Handout via Reuters] It's reported there were "several" deaths. There has been no radiation detected ... yet. It's impossible that the casualty numbers are accurate: there are civilians and soldiers dead all over, but the dead must wait. It's being reported that one million people have managed to get out. Poland was shown welcoming the refugees with open arms. Canada is fast-tracking immigration

This is in response to a question on the Mighty . It's a great resource for all things mental health. I'm reading about meds and how they can affect you. I myself have no f'in clue how they affect me. I've had things off and on for 30 years. I've been on so many meds I can't remember the vast majority. I think I feel something and then I turn around and my mood has shifted and I've forgotten whatever it was I was thinking about. The people I disclose my mental illness to always say, "but you're so normal!" Gee thanks, I think. I would like to have one day where I know who I am and what I think and want. One day to know what my "normal" is, because I have no clue. I haven't known who I am since I was 5. That's when it all started. Normal, level, calm, relaxed, secure, confident - I just don't see myself experiencing any of those. It makes me sad. ***** That was written when I was down, right after having just written the la

I am 53 years old. I have had mental health issues all my life and am currently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar II Disorder, and complex-PTSD, with a sprinkling of anxiety thrown in just for fun. My story begins when I was 18 months old and my father threw me into a coffee table, breaking my collar bone. Thankfully he was gone most of the time, so I didn't face his wrath. He died when I was 5. I was sad in some ways but my mom wasn't really sad so I was confused. I was crying one day and told her I missed him; she told me to smarten up and stop the tears. In talking with family, I have learned my natural father likely had bipolar II disorder, however nothing was diagnosed back then, not that he would've gone for help anyway. Around about that time, my mom started going out a lot with her friends. She found a babysitter for me:  Mr. & Mrs. Mix (not their real names) lived a few blocks away. I started staying with them when I was 5. At first it was