The wedding is getting close now. Less than 2 weeks away. So far the weather looks good, venues and caterer have been set up, chairs ordered, linens and such are ready to go, dresses are hemmed and fitted, groomsmen are getting their outfits together, hair and makeup artists are booked, bouquets and corsages and boutonnieres have been created, center pieces, arbour ... everything. It's so exciting!
Darrin gets home on the evening of the 14th. His suit is dry cleaned and his new shirt and tie are on the way. My dress needs one tiny adjustment that I can easily do. The rest of our family is in the wedding party, so don't have to worry about what to wear.
Rob's the MC. I'm not sure how prepared he is, but time is of the essence. He said he's done it before and how good he is at it, but he's looking for a lot of information from Drey and Jo that he should be putting together himself. Well, I'm sure all will go well in the end - they'll be married and sharing it with family and friends - and they'll have a beautiful time.
Onto different topics:
As most of you know, I'm a survivor of child sexual abuse. When I hear anything about a pedophile, I get very angry and judgemental. I don't believe this will ever change.
About 3 years ago, I learned of an incident with relatives, where a 40's something naked man (relatives' "friend") crawled into bed with a 15 year old. He tried or did whatever, I'm sure we'll never know, but eventually made his way out of her room and went to her parents' room. He crawled in with them and expected a three-some. Dad told him to screw off and went back to sleep. Pedo went back to the living room and passed out on the couch. Daughter went to her parents' room to tell them what happened. Dad said to forget it and go back to bed. Mom said they'd talk about it later but go to bed. Mom waited a little and then went to check that pedo wasn't in with daughter again. Pedo woke up enough to ask Mom to have sex with him. She went back to bed. (Side note: I would have went and crawled in with my daughter to keep her safe and let her know I was there for her.)
My first question was why didn't Dad beat the hell out of pedo and throw him out of the house? My next question was why the parents didn't immediately call the police?
The next day, Mom talked with Dad's Mom who said it was a misunderstanding and daughter's Mom should let it go! She provided no support or understanding, nor advice.
Mom then called me, explained everything and asked me what to do. I said daughter needed to go with Mom to the police and then maybe to the hospital, depending what happened. Mom said that's how she felt too, and how Mom's parents felt. Unfortunately, Dad vetoed that, explaining that it was , not a big deal - just a misunderstanding; "you know how pedo gets when he's blackout drunk."
So now we have an 18 y/o who may or may not have been sexually abused, who doesn't feel she's listened to and who is making bad relationship decisions. Not being believed or being told it's a misunderstanding; not being listened to. Not being loved and protected. Those things will affect this young woman's life forever. It will affect her relationships, marriages and how she raises her own children. So very, very sad.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Pedo is still in the picture. He's a wealthy person who always pays for everything and (IMHO) is used by relatives because of his generosity. That is the reason I believe he's still around. So he and a different Dad got together to go camping and boating, along with Dad's 12 y/o daughter.
I had begged Dad to please not let pedo be anywhere near daughter, especially alone. He talked with relatives and told me it was just "a misunderstanding" (do you see a common theme here?) I asked if he knew about the three some? No, he hadn't heard that. I asked if he knew about pedo asking Mom for sex? Gee, no, he hadn't heard that either. So daughter's parents were keeping things to themselves? Why? Because then they would lose out on the fringe benefits and would have to admit they made some very serious and heinous mistakes.
Back to camping and boating. Pedo, of course, paid for everything. It's easier to abuse a child who is a friend's than it is a stranger. He came prepared to ply his victim this time: he brought champagne for the children.
Now I don't know what your parent's were like, but I didn't get to have alcohol until I was 16 and then it was sips of other's drinks - never any of my own.
Well, Dad didn't see anything wrong with this and allowed daughter (remember, she's 12) to have a couple glasses. Dad proceeded to get completely wrecked himself. (Just like other Dad.) I guess pedo and Dad stayed up all night. I'm not sure if Pedo snuck into the trailer or not. I'm not sure if he actually slept in there at all. All I know is that, once again, a parent chose NOT to protect and care for his child and, by allowing himself to become so inebriated, he was leaving her open to abuse.
Am I crazy or is there something VERY dysfunctional happening here? Children are being sold for boat rides and alcohol and their parents turn a blind eye.
I cannot be near pedo any longer. My anger, revulsion and hate are so strong I don't trust what I would say or do. Thankfully I rarely have cause to be at the same events as him.
He is so lucky that Darrin and I never had any dealings with him. He wouldn't be here any longer.
Toodles
Darrin gets home on the evening of the 14th. His suit is dry cleaned and his new shirt and tie are on the way. My dress needs one tiny adjustment that I can easily do. The rest of our family is in the wedding party, so don't have to worry about what to wear.
Rob's the MC. I'm not sure how prepared he is, but time is of the essence. He said he's done it before and how good he is at it, but he's looking for a lot of information from Drey and Jo that he should be putting together himself. Well, I'm sure all will go well in the end - they'll be married and sharing it with family and friends - and they'll have a beautiful time.
Onto different topics:
As most of you know, I'm a survivor of child sexual abuse. When I hear anything about a pedophile, I get very angry and judgemental. I don't believe this will ever change.
About 3 years ago, I learned of an incident with relatives, where a 40's something naked man (relatives' "friend") crawled into bed with a 15 year old. He tried or did whatever, I'm sure we'll never know, but eventually made his way out of her room and went to her parents' room. He crawled in with them and expected a three-some. Dad told him to screw off and went back to sleep. Pedo went back to the living room and passed out on the couch. Daughter went to her parents' room to tell them what happened. Dad said to forget it and go back to bed. Mom said they'd talk about it later but go to bed. Mom waited a little and then went to check that pedo wasn't in with daughter again. Pedo woke up enough to ask Mom to have sex with him. She went back to bed. (Side note: I would have went and crawled in with my daughter to keep her safe and let her know I was there for her.)
My first question was why didn't Dad beat the hell out of pedo and throw him out of the house? My next question was why the parents didn't immediately call the police?
The next day, Mom talked with Dad's Mom who said it was a misunderstanding and daughter's Mom should let it go! She provided no support or understanding, nor advice.
Mom then called me, explained everything and asked me what to do. I said daughter needed to go with Mom to the police and then maybe to the hospital, depending what happened. Mom said that's how she felt too, and how Mom's parents felt. Unfortunately, Dad vetoed that, explaining that it was , not a big deal - just a misunderstanding; "you know how pedo gets when he's blackout drunk."
So now we have an 18 y/o who may or may not have been sexually abused, who doesn't feel she's listened to and who is making bad relationship decisions. Not being believed or being told it's a misunderstanding; not being listened to. Not being loved and protected. Those things will affect this young woman's life forever. It will affect her relationships, marriages and how she raises her own children. So very, very sad.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Pedo is still in the picture. He's a wealthy person who always pays for everything and (IMHO) is used by relatives because of his generosity. That is the reason I believe he's still around. So he and a different Dad got together to go camping and boating, along with Dad's 12 y/o daughter.
I had begged Dad to please not let pedo be anywhere near daughter, especially alone. He talked with relatives and told me it was just "a misunderstanding" (do you see a common theme here?) I asked if he knew about the three some? No, he hadn't heard that. I asked if he knew about pedo asking Mom for sex? Gee, no, he hadn't heard that either. So daughter's parents were keeping things to themselves? Why? Because then they would lose out on the fringe benefits and would have to admit they made some very serious and heinous mistakes.
Back to camping and boating. Pedo, of course, paid for everything. It's easier to abuse a child who is a friend's than it is a stranger. He came prepared to ply his victim this time: he brought champagne for the children.
Now I don't know what your parent's were like, but I didn't get to have alcohol until I was 16 and then it was sips of other's drinks - never any of my own.
Well, Dad didn't see anything wrong with this and allowed daughter (remember, she's 12) to have a couple glasses. Dad proceeded to get completely wrecked himself. (Just like other Dad.) I guess pedo and Dad stayed up all night. I'm not sure if Pedo snuck into the trailer or not. I'm not sure if he actually slept in there at all. All I know is that, once again, a parent chose NOT to protect and care for his child and, by allowing himself to become so inebriated, he was leaving her open to abuse.
Am I crazy or is there something VERY dysfunctional happening here? Children are being sold for boat rides and alcohol and their parents turn a blind eye.
I cannot be near pedo any longer. My anger, revulsion and hate are so strong I don't trust what I would say or do. Thankfully I rarely have cause to be at the same events as him.
He is so lucky that Darrin and I never had any dealings with him. He wouldn't be here any longer.
Toodles
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