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Popular Monster - Falling In Reverse

Yeah I wake up every morning with my head up in a daze I'm not sure if I should say this, fuck, I'll say it anyway Everybody tries to tell me that I'm going through a phase I don't know if it's a phase, I just wanna feel okay, yeah I battle with depression, but the question still remains Is this post-traumatic stressing or am I suppressing rage? And my doctor tries to tell me that I'm going through a phase Yeah, it's not a fucking phase, I just wanna feel okay, okay? Yeah, I struggle with this bullshit every day And it's probably 'cause my demons simultaneously rage It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me 'Cause I'm about to break down, I'm searching for a way out I'm a liar, I'm a cheater, I'm a non-believer I'm a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I'm a popular, popular monster I think I'm going nowhere like a rat trapped in a maze Every wall that I knock d
Recent posts

News

 I don't really have any news that's newsworthy, but I'll fumble through in order to get a post in for 2024 before it's 2025. Christmas came and went without too much fanfare. It's getting difficult to have Christmas Eve supper and gifts. It's hard for Ariya and Hendrix to get themselves showered, have a story, set out Santa's treat, and get to bed before 10:00 PM if we're celebrating in the evening. So this year, we've started a new tradition: Christmas Eve brunch! This year was at Braunt and Breanna's. It was a lot of fun. Everyone was in their Christmas jammies, Bre put on an amazing spread, and presents weren't rushed and were enjoyed by all. The kids are who make Christmas what it is. Ari and Hendrix are old enough that they played our gift exchange game, and Lily was a little joy to have around. We bought Ariya a gown and she and I went to see The Secret Life of Christmas Trolls. It was a lot of fun. We love dressing fancy for the '

Weddings

 Lori, my +1, and I attended weddings on August 19th and August 26th. Darrin wasn't home the 19th, and he had a family bbq on the 26th. The first wedding was Mr. and Mrs. Brad and Jessica Whyte, long time friends of the Lucier family. The ceremony and reception were both held in the Normandy Room at the Legion. It was a beautiful event with approximately 100 people there. Jessica was stunning in a strapless a-line dress in chiffon and ivory coloured. Brad was handsome in his 3-piece tuxedo. They had 7 attendants each. The beautiful bridesmaids were in various styles of a stunning, rich green. Breanna was Jess' matron of honour. She was radiant in her sequenced, fitted gown. Her mom, Tammy, and I cried when she walked in LOL. The handsome groomsmen wore grey suits with green ties. Miss Elena was the flower girl. What a button. She did a great job. Lori and I weren't big party people, so we didn't stay very late. I was able to sneak in a dance with Braunt. The next weddin

Our Babies

Small Towns ... Small Minds ... TheCartierFamily ... Reactions

 Mr. Jason Aldean has lit up the internet with his song Try That In a Small Town. It's being labelled anti-everything. Most are saying it's racist because it's filmed in front of a courthouse where a black youth was hanged in the early 1900s, it shows a lot of protests and some of them have black people in them, and it mentions "good ole boys raised up right" which is being compared to the KKK. Hmmm. When I listen to and the song, I hear that people are sick and tired of all the protests, the destroying and looting of businesses, the continual conspiracy theories, and that none of it would fly in a small town. He's also saying that society as a whole is pretty screwed up when they burn their flag, carjack old ladies, anything that shows "the man"who he's really dealing with. Act a fool, if you like. Let's cue the CartierFamliy reaction. They say, "No moral man can have peace of mind if he leaves undone what he knows he should have done.&

Mario Musical!

 I cannot believe how quickly time flies. At the beginning of each month my calendar is pretty open. When I look back at the end of the month, there are only a few days I didn't have something to do. Appointments, grandkids, friends, travel. Phew! I'm thankful to be busy, though. It clears my mind and keeps me healthy. I went to see Ariya and Hendrix today. I bought them each a little gift when I was in Victoria (Lori and I flew to see Laurie who lives in Nanaimo). They're handmade soaps: Ariya's is called Moose Spit and Hendrix' is Cougar Boogers. Hilarious! They liked them and I'm sure will use them in the shower tonight. They're getting so big! Ariya's nine and going into grade 4 in a few weeks. Hendrix is seven and going into grade 2. It seems like yesterday that they were babies. Before we know it, they'll be graduating and starting their adult lives. Crazy!! I spent some time with Miss Cubby yesterday. Mommy had a migraine and Daddy had to go t

New Ink

 The flash pic as well as the finished project. It's got the second skin on it, so you can't see it as well, but amazing job!! The detail is exquisite. Emily at Refine Artistry @refineartistry (IG) is a very talented fine line artist. Her hand is very light and there was a minute amount of discomfort - it felt like a paper clip scraping my skin. Unlike any other tattoo I've got. Be sure to check her out on fb and IG. She would love to capture your ideas and make them a reality. Thank you Emily. I'll be back!

RIP Sinead

 So sad that Sinead O'Connor died due to mental health issues. Some will call it 'committing' suicide, that she completed a selfish act, and who knows what else. Sinead died by suicide, her last moment in a tragic life filled with trauma, pain, devastation, grief, and instability. Let us not focus on her means of death, rather the mental health demons that ate away at her and caused her demise. Many of us deal with the same issues she did, and many are a tiny step away from her death. Listen when someone says they're not feeling right, give a call or text when a friend has been off the radar for a while. We can all help people who are suffering. Any words or actions you choose can help someone get past that moment of just not wanting to be here. Be patient, compassionate and caring. Be kind. ❤

A Mother's Pain

 For all the mommies who have lost their babies at any stage of life. I am so sorry for your losses. Things are not supposed to go this way - babies are supposed to grieve their parents, not the other way around. I don't think there's anything to take away your pain - not time or words - nothing. It is something you will carry with you the rest of your lives. I know there are many more of my friends who have experienced this injustice; I didn't forget you - I just didn't know. My heart aches for you all. I send love and healing thoughts with the hope that it may ease even one second or your grieving. ❤  BEING A MOTHER WHO HAS LOST A CHILD There’s an order that life is supposed to follow. An order of breaths we are supposed to take, as if we are passing a torch from one generation to the next. And our torch is supposed to go out before our child’s flame is extinguished. We are supposed to watch them take their first breath. But not their last. We are supposed to hear the

Lily Avery Arrives!

 Our beautiful, little Cubby made her arrival into the world on April 20, 2023. She weighed 6 lbs 8 oz and was 19 3/4" long. Kiershyn and Tyler christened her Lily Avery. She is a calm and content baby. At least until she's wet or hungry; then all hell breaks loose. After seeing all of the ultrasound pics, I knew I would recognize her, and I did! She's got chubby cheeks with dimples, just like her daddy. She has long fingers and toes (I think she'll be a pianist lol), a dark, fine down all over her head, and the cutest nose ever. She is a perfect combination of Mommy and Daddy. We spend a lot of time with Lily, and are loving every minute of it! I can't believe how much she's changed already. She's still doing the newborn scrunch, and searches for the breast whenever her cheeks are touched. Kier's got a great feeding system going: both breast and bottle. Wee Lily is certainly doing fine as she's over 10 lbs already. Ariya and Hendrix are doing well

One of Those Days

 It is one of those days. A day when I can think of nothing better than not being here. I know without a doubt now that my depression has returned. It's been here for a while but was hiding behind rapid-cycling with hypo-manic fun. I posted the following on facebook: The big topic in mental health is reaching out, talking and having someone listen. People are busy with their lives, though. When you are flailing and need to cry into someone's ear, possibly get a hug - call someone. Unfortunately, a crisis that can fit between 7-8, then that's great. No? I can get back to you tomorrow between 12 and 2. Oh, you'll be dead by then? Hmm, I'll put you on a cancelation list. Yes, I'm being facetious but this is how both sides feel. One side is gasping for air, and the other side is busy and terrified of what to say. Neither is wrong, it's just life circumstances and how things work. If you're in crisis, reach out. If you are asked to listen, do your best. Conta

What Happens in Las Vegas Can Follow You Home

 I forgot to write about Vegas! We went March 7-10 with our friends, Lori and Earl. We stayed at the Plaza Hotel and Casino on Fremont Street. We had a good time walking around and seeing the sites. All was well and good until our last day. We had a couple hours until we had to leave for the airport, and Lori and I wanted to hit up the gift shop. 'Hit up' was an understatement. On the way into the store, I tripped on a raised part of the floor (yes, it was marked). I fell face first into the keychain display on the front of the till. I ripped open my forehead and my jaw. Two of the prongs struck either corner of my eye, inside and outside. I cringe to think what would have happened if I hit 1/2" to the left or right. I could have injured or lost my eye! Although I absolutely despise these scars, I'm thankful it didn't happen. I had fantastic service from the paramedics on the way to the hospital. Their treatment was above and beyond. When we arrived at the hospital

Cubby's Coming Soon!

 Tyler and Kiershyn's little girl will be arriving before Pōpa gets home in 14 days. I am so excited. Another little human to fall in love with. Being a granny is truly different than being a mommy. Granny gets to snuggle and hand back when they're cranky. Granny gets to whisper in their ear, all the loving things I have to say. Granny gets to enjoy watching them grow and capturing their accomplishments. Granny gets to share unconditional love. It amazes me how, when I first met Ariya and Hendrix, I fell completely in love. The little hand wrapped around my finger and heart immediately, just like with my kids. Incredible. Cubby is a little girl - size wise. Just over 5 lbs, she's in the 25th percentile. That's not bad. She's going to be a little smudge. I know she's going to be perfect. She's 1/4 me, so there's no doubt. I can't wait for Ariya and Hendrix to meet her. Especially Ari. She's at the perfect baby age. Heck, she can unofficially babys

Banned from sub on reddit

 I posted my regular abortion post on the r/abortion sub reddit. It reads as follows: Providing Abortion Support to Her/Him/Them with Uteruses in Edmonton and Area Are you facing an abortion and have no support? Do you have questions but can't find the answers? Are you transgender, non-binary, Indigenous, far from the city, and have concerns about facing adversity, stigma and discrimination? Do you need a ride to the clinic and home afterwards? No one can accompany you into the clinic, but the medical staff will take good care of you. If you are outside the Edmonton area, we can arrange transportation, accommodations and emergency child care, if needed. There is no cost to you. If you need to talk, vent, or have questions, reach out. No one should be alone. You can reach me on here at r/AlbertaAbortionDoulas or by email at albertaabortiondoula@gmail.com You are not alone. If you are interested in helping our network through volunteering or donations, please visit our site at albert

Vivienne

 I haven't held or kissed you in 32 years. I miss your touch. Your arms wrapped around me. Supporting my soul as I lay in your loving embrace. My mom died on this day. I tried to make sense of everything. Nothing worked. The pain tore my heart into a million pieces. Everything was being ripped apart. I felt the piece of me that died with her. That piece is gone forever but memories of her love continue to fill in that hole. Each little bit of love makes its way to help me. Thank you to everyone who helps me slowly become a full person again. Vivienne Anne Kozakevich opened her eyes on September 13, 1949. Her eyes closed forever on February 13, 1991. Forever You open your eyes To the bright world Precious and new You take your first breath Your destiny is to give love You do so without reservation With all you are Your empathy and kindness abound As with everyone It happens Life speeds up Everything blurs like a merry go round It’s going too fast You push yourself To hold tight and

Fancy News and Two People

 Ariya's birthday is coming up next Friday. We are so excited to celebrate it with her. We got her a new dress and purse, so she can dress up fancy because we are going to Jubilations Junior to see Shrek!!! Peanut loves going to plays; this will be our second one. I got a new gown so I match her fancy ensemble. We are going to have a great time! Bean's birthday is coming up in March! He is really into Pokemon, so we got him a 200 card set (with no duplicates) and a new bathing suit because he and Pōpa are going to Millennium Place to go swimming, then they're going out for supper! I'm sure Hendrix is going to love it. Darrin is on a 10/4 shift for the last time. He then switches to a 14/7. I prefer that because he has a little more time to rest up at home (and get the honey-do list tackled). This job is 2-3 years, so it's a little bit of an undertaking. They're setting up right now; Darrin says the workload is unreal. Hopefully things settle down a little once t

Detachment

 There are some very strange people running amuck in this world. How come every single seems to bump into me for some reason? There's a person I met through another friend. She struck me as being quite normal. We had good coffees together. Our morales seemed to align. We even had a girls night where 5 of us doing crafts and eating too much. It was fun. I offered to help this person get her resume together and find a job. I did the resume, as well as another letter on a different topic, and started sending her jobs from indeed. I spoke with her on the phone about some of the jobs, and told her to send me any she found and I would do up a cover letter for each. That was the last I heard. I texted and emailed her but to no avail. It is really weird. Like she dropped off the face of the planet. I absolutely hate this word but she "ghosted" me. Like one of us just isn't here anymore. It is so freaking weird! Easy come, easy go. Better to have found out early rather than ye

Cubby

 Kiershyn is expecting her first baby at the end of April. A little girl who I've nicknamed Cubby. Kier is Miss Bear, so it just made sense for babe to be Cubby. (A special thank you to Auntie Joanna for the suggestion.) Here is her latest ultrasound picture: I can't wait for her to arrive. Precious, wee one. <3 

Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID)

  Medical Assistance in Dying is Canada's new law, effective March 17, 2021. Dying with Dignity explains it well. Eligibility for persons suffering from mental illness Canadians whose only medical condition is a mental illness, and who otherwise meet all eligibility criteria, will not be eligible for MAID until March 17, 2023. This includes conditions that are primarily within the domain of psychiatry, such as depression and personality disorders. It does not include neurocognitive and neurodevelopmental disorders, or other conditions that may affect cognitive abilities. This temporary exclusion will provide the Government of Canada with more time to study how MAID on the basis of a mental illness can safely be provided and to ensure appropriate safeguards are in place to protect those persons. To support this work, the law requires the Ministers of Justice and Health to initiate an expert review, which will be tasked with considering protocols, guidance and safeguards for MAID f

Finished Tattoo, and December Holidays and Observances

  Jessie Armand came through again with an incredible 1/2 back piece. I'm so happy with how it turned out. It wasn't even that painful! Jessie's got a light hand and goes so fast and precisely that it's over before you know it! Jessie had some free time on Sunday, so Darrin decided to get another tattoo. This one is his name in Viking runes, as well as his birthdate rune and his birth time rune. It looks pretty cool.   I've been tracking Santa through NORAD . Right now he's at Antalya, Turkey. He's making good time. The reindeer must have been very restless to get going and now they're flying faster than ever before! I can't wait to hear what he brings everyone. It is so so exciting! What is your special day in December? There are certainly a lot of holidays and observances. December 1 National Christmas Lights Day National Cookie Cutter Day National Women Support Women Day World AIDS Day Romania Independence Day Rosa Parks Day Peppermint Bark Day