Mom,
Hi there. I don't know what I'm going to write about, but I feel like talking to you.
Darrin went up to see you today. He really noticed the difference in you too. He said that you had wanted to go home this weekend, but the doctors said that you weren't drinking or eating enough, and that you were going to try harder to get something down. I'm really happy about that. I guess you took your IV out last night, but they were going to put another one in today.
Michelle (Madro) came over today. She stayed for a couple of hours. It was really nice to see her. She said that Drey is definitely cute. I told her that I thought so, but that I'm prejudiced. She agreed with me, but assured me that he's very cute. We had a really nice visit. She didn't hold Kiershyn much, but Kiershyn was hungry and ate most of the time she was awake.
A lot of things came up for me when I saw you yesterday. I found it really hard when you said you missed me and I said it too. I wanted to tell you so much, about what's been happening and how I've been feeling, but I knew it wasn't the right time yet. We hugged and you did those "Mommy" things, like "comfortings". I just wanted to crawl up on the bed with you and be your little girl for a while. It feels like a long time since I was your little girl, and I guess I miss it. Even though I'm a mommy too I don't think I'll ever miss having you be my mommy.
I told Darrin tonight that I thought it was harder seeing you better than it was when you were really sick. I guess I kind of blanked everything out of my mind when you were sick, but now that you're starting to get better, I can't do that anymore. Pretty soon and I'll be able to take some of your love back. I think now that you're getting better it's harder because I want to call you and tell you all that's happening in my life too. Kiershyn started smiling 3 days ago (real ones), and she smiled at you when we were there last night. She's such a good girl and I'm so glad that she's here.
You asked me last night why I called her Vivienne. I gave you some lame excuse that I can't even remember now. The real reason I called her Vivienne is because, if anything happened to you, I wanted a piece of you to be with me always, and that was the only way that I could think of making that happen. I'm glad she has your name. I'm a part of you and she's a part of me, and I think I really needed that.
My feelings were so wicked when you first got hurt and I didn't know if you were going to make it. That is one feeling that I don't want to have to feel again for a long, long time. If I ever think about something happening to Darrin or one of the kids it feels like that, but it's not real, you were. God, it was awful. You know, all of our fighting and spats and bitching, didn't matter. I don't think I ever realized how much I love you, and how much I still needed you around. All of the advise you gave me, that I thought was stupid, was right. Everything you ever told me, was just what I needed to hear. I realized that, even if I didn't agree with you, I wanted to hear your thoughts and opinions still.
I think I've got out everything that I needed to, so I'll write more later.
I love you. Twyla
Hi there. I don't know what I'm going to write about, but I feel like talking to you.
Darrin went up to see you today. He really noticed the difference in you too. He said that you had wanted to go home this weekend, but the doctors said that you weren't drinking or eating enough, and that you were going to try harder to get something down. I'm really happy about that. I guess you took your IV out last night, but they were going to put another one in today.
Michelle (Madro) came over today. She stayed for a couple of hours. It was really nice to see her. She said that Drey is definitely cute. I told her that I thought so, but that I'm prejudiced. She agreed with me, but assured me that he's very cute. We had a really nice visit. She didn't hold Kiershyn much, but Kiershyn was hungry and ate most of the time she was awake.
A lot of things came up for me when I saw you yesterday. I found it really hard when you said you missed me and I said it too. I wanted to tell you so much, about what's been happening and how I've been feeling, but I knew it wasn't the right time yet. We hugged and you did those "Mommy" things, like "comfortings". I just wanted to crawl up on the bed with you and be your little girl for a while. It feels like a long time since I was your little girl, and I guess I miss it. Even though I'm a mommy too I don't think I'll ever miss having you be my mommy.
I told Darrin tonight that I thought it was harder seeing you better than it was when you were really sick. I guess I kind of blanked everything out of my mind when you were sick, but now that you're starting to get better, I can't do that anymore. Pretty soon and I'll be able to take some of your love back. I think now that you're getting better it's harder because I want to call you and tell you all that's happening in my life too. Kiershyn started smiling 3 days ago (real ones), and she smiled at you when we were there last night. She's such a good girl and I'm so glad that she's here.
You asked me last night why I called her Vivienne. I gave you some lame excuse that I can't even remember now. The real reason I called her Vivienne is because, if anything happened to you, I wanted a piece of you to be with me always, and that was the only way that I could think of making that happen. I'm glad she has your name. I'm a part of you and she's a part of me, and I think I really needed that.
My feelings were so wicked when you first got hurt and I didn't know if you were going to make it. That is one feeling that I don't want to have to feel again for a long, long time. If I ever think about something happening to Darrin or one of the kids it feels like that, but it's not real, you were. God, it was awful. You know, all of our fighting and spats and bitching, didn't matter. I don't think I ever realized how much I love you, and how much I still needed you around. All of the advise you gave me, that I thought was stupid, was right. Everything you ever told me, was just what I needed to hear. I realized that, even if I didn't agree with you, I wanted to hear your thoughts and opinions still.
I think I've got out everything that I needed to, so I'll write more later.
I love you. Twyla
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