Skip to main content

November 28, 1990 1:38 PM

Twyla's note: "Comfortings" was when I would lay my head in my Mom's lap and she would stroke my hair and face. It was something I will never forget.

Mom,

I took Drey to the hospital to see you this morning. He wanted to get down and be with you so bad. It's hard for him to understand why he can't jump on you.

You told me you wanted to come home. It was really hard for me to have to tell you that you have to stay for a while longer, 'cause I want you to come home too! You looked really good today. Your eyes lit up when you saw Drey.

I'm so scared. I found out this afternoon that they're going to operate again first thing tomorrow morning. They're very scared about the aneurysm at the back of your neck. They aren't even giving us a choice in this one. You won't be out of the hospital for Christmas. That's going to be really hard.

I wish you didn't have to suffer any more pain. I wish you didn't need this last operation. I guess it's better that they do it now than later. You won't really realize that you've had this 3rd operation.

I just talked to Uncle Rocky and then to Grampa. I really needed to talk to Auntie Deb, but Uncle Rocky promised he'd have her call me back.

I miss you so much. I just want to crawl into your bed with you and get some "comfortings". I want you to tell me every thing's going to be fine. I cried last night and today. I haven't let myself do that for a while.

It hurts so much when i think of what you've been through and that it starts all over again tomorrow morning. I'm glad this is the last one. It will take you longer to recuperate from this one, but once you do you'll be good as new.

I just talked to Dad for the 2nd time today. He sure is taking this hard. He wanted them to wait until after Christmas to do this 3rd operation. I knew you wouldn't let them do it if they waited. I didn't want to (or not) give consent for this operation. I didn't want to have to deal with the guilt if something doesn't work.

I'm confident this operation will go well, although I just don't let myself think about anything else.

I love you so much. I miss talking with you. You are so much more than just mom to me. You can also be Viv, Bibienne, Ganee, and you fill all of those roles so well. I can talk to you and tell you just about anything. I respect you so much. You've become a very respected person to others too. I hope that I can be like you when I get to 40.

I don't always agree with what you say, but just because we look alike doesn't mean we have to have the same opinions.

I've reached a point today where I don't want to be an adult, wife or mom; I just want to be your little girl. I've realized though that I don't think I'll be that again. I think, once you're home, that we'll just be friends. I'd still appreciate "comfortings" once in a while.

Dad just called again. The doctor called him. I guess they (the doctors) had a conference this morning and decided to operate tomorrow. They're going to talk to you about it, but they're going to give you a sedative first so that your blood pressure doesn't go up again.

I have to get Drey up and go pick up Dary. I'll write more later.

I love you. Twyla. (3:10 PM)

Comments