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November 26, 1990

Twyla's note: I was 22 years when this happened. My mom was 41 years old. Please cherish your parents; when they're gone the loss is amazing.

Mom,

I've heard that writing letters, when you can't talk to the person, sometimes makes you feel better, and I thought I'd give it a try.

I really miss you. I'm so used to picking up the phone and hearing your voice. Although it's been almost 3 weeks since this started, I still miss it. It was so nice when you called me from the hospital last week; but it was weird to hear your voice on the phone 'cause I knew (and had accepted) that we couldn't talk that way.

This operation was a lot harder on you than the first one. You recovered really quickly from the first. I guess I thought this operation would be the same as the 1st, but is sure wasn't. I realize now that it's because you never really got a chance to recuperate from the 1st.

I miss your guidance very much. When everything first happened, I just kinda took charge, because I recognized that Dad couldn't. I don't know how I did it without you, but I guess you would have done it if you weren't sick. This has made me realize that I'm an adult now, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Before, I still felt "young"; now I feel older.

At first, I'd pick up the phone to call you and ask if I was doing everything right, or to tell you how shitty I was feeling, but I'm over that now.

Darrin has been wonder through all of this. He's so supportive and understanding. He's been my rock through all of this. I think that this has brought us closer together. When I get home from the hospital, he just lets me fall on him. Yesterday (Sunday), we had such a fun day together. It was like before we had any real responsibilities. We laughed and played and joked, and just had so much fun.

I try to tell him (very often) how much I appreciate him. I'm glad we have each other. I don't think I'd want anyone else.

Dad tells me that you're doing better. I'm glad to hear that.

Got to get supper for my boys. Will write more later.

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