Twyla's note: I can't imagine what my Nana must have been going through with her eldest daughter so sick.
Mom,
It's going to take me a while to write this letter because both of my children are screaming, but I'll eventually get it done. Dreytan seems to think that this is his computer, and I'm having a hard time convincing him that it isn't.
Life is the same as usual. We're starting to get into some sort of normalcy, finally. My house is looking cleaner since I've been at home, but I still have a problem with keeping it tidy. I tend to leave things out that could be put away, and there is absolutely no keeping up with Dreytan's toys. I'm going to put them away in the closet because they make the house look really messy.
I hope you're feeling better today. I hope that the shunt takes your nausea away. I was feeling a lot of resentment towards you, but I think that it's going away. I was angry because you are sick. I'm sure that sounds weird, but it's the way I was feeling. I want to talk to you so bad and have you talk back, like we used to. I miss you babysitting Drey every so often. I really missed having you here for a while after Kiershyn was born. Having Nana just wasn't the same, because I was still looking after Dreytan. I don't know if she thought that I should because I was home or what, but it just wasn't the same as you. I also thought that you'd get better quicker, but I now realize that it's going to take a while. I guess I had unrealistic expectations.
I don't cry anymore, but I sure miss you. Sometimes Dad asks if I'm going up to see you, but it's awfully hard to go up. I have to bring Kiershyn with me, and it's been so cold out. It makes me feel guilty when he asks me that, but I hope you would understand. I talked to Auntie Deb about it, and she said that you would understand, so I hope that she's right.
Terry and Cliff had a nice visit with you, although you were quite tired. We didn't visit much with them as we all went to bed around 10:00 PM. Terry wants you to be one of her bridesmaids. She asked me about it, but I told her that maybe she should go with someone else. I'm not sure you'll be better by then and I told her that if you are better, you would understand why she didn't have you. she's going to wait a bit before she decides, so I guess we'll wait and see. Dad thinks you'll be better by then, but I'm not sure that you'll be fully up to par. We'll just have to play the waiting game.
Got a letter from Nana yesterday. She didn't mention much different from the letter she sent to you guys. I still have a lot of pent up feelings from when Nana was here, and I'm having trouble figuring out and dealing with them. It's horrible to say, but I didn't enjoy her being here at all. She wouldn't acknowledge Darrin at the best of times, she didn't really know what to do with Drey and she did all of the things that I asked her not to. One of the famous things was that she would come in from outside (it was slushy outside) and walk all over my kitchen with her shoes on, saying that she'd clean it up, but she never did. Another was that she'd take those same shoes, which were either still wet or had gravel on them and put them on in the living room and then walk around everywhere before she left. I remember Nana to be quite clean, but I guess things have changed. Dad said that while her and Les were staying out at your place, they never made their beds and left the dishes for a few days. I guess I was also jealous because she was up at the hospital all of the time and I could only go up every so often. I think one of the clinchers was just before your third operation. I had a doctor's appointment and decided to bring Dreytan to the hospital before I went. Nana promised to meet me there so that I could visit with you and she would watch Drey. Well, she never showed up. I met her and Les as I was getting into the car. That really hurt.
I don't know if I'll ever let you read this letters, but it really does help me to write them. It's the closest I can get to talking to you.
Anyways, I should be getting going as I have more housework to do. I'll write more when I have a chance.
I love you. Twyla
Mom,
It's going to take me a while to write this letter because both of my children are screaming, but I'll eventually get it done. Dreytan seems to think that this is his computer, and I'm having a hard time convincing him that it isn't.
Life is the same as usual. We're starting to get into some sort of normalcy, finally. My house is looking cleaner since I've been at home, but I still have a problem with keeping it tidy. I tend to leave things out that could be put away, and there is absolutely no keeping up with Dreytan's toys. I'm going to put them away in the closet because they make the house look really messy.
I hope you're feeling better today. I hope that the shunt takes your nausea away. I was feeling a lot of resentment towards you, but I think that it's going away. I was angry because you are sick. I'm sure that sounds weird, but it's the way I was feeling. I want to talk to you so bad and have you talk back, like we used to. I miss you babysitting Drey every so often. I really missed having you here for a while after Kiershyn was born. Having Nana just wasn't the same, because I was still looking after Dreytan. I don't know if she thought that I should because I was home or what, but it just wasn't the same as you. I also thought that you'd get better quicker, but I now realize that it's going to take a while. I guess I had unrealistic expectations.
I don't cry anymore, but I sure miss you. Sometimes Dad asks if I'm going up to see you, but it's awfully hard to go up. I have to bring Kiershyn with me, and it's been so cold out. It makes me feel guilty when he asks me that, but I hope you would understand. I talked to Auntie Deb about it, and she said that you would understand, so I hope that she's right.
Terry and Cliff had a nice visit with you, although you were quite tired. We didn't visit much with them as we all went to bed around 10:00 PM. Terry wants you to be one of her bridesmaids. She asked me about it, but I told her that maybe she should go with someone else. I'm not sure you'll be better by then and I told her that if you are better, you would understand why she didn't have you. she's going to wait a bit before she decides, so I guess we'll wait and see. Dad thinks you'll be better by then, but I'm not sure that you'll be fully up to par. We'll just have to play the waiting game.
Got a letter from Nana yesterday. She didn't mention much different from the letter she sent to you guys. I still have a lot of pent up feelings from when Nana was here, and I'm having trouble figuring out and dealing with them. It's horrible to say, but I didn't enjoy her being here at all. She wouldn't acknowledge Darrin at the best of times, she didn't really know what to do with Drey and she did all of the things that I asked her not to. One of the famous things was that she would come in from outside (it was slushy outside) and walk all over my kitchen with her shoes on, saying that she'd clean it up, but she never did. Another was that she'd take those same shoes, which were either still wet or had gravel on them and put them on in the living room and then walk around everywhere before she left. I remember Nana to be quite clean, but I guess things have changed. Dad said that while her and Les were staying out at your place, they never made their beds and left the dishes for a few days. I guess I was also jealous because she was up at the hospital all of the time and I could only go up every so often. I think one of the clinchers was just before your third operation. I had a doctor's appointment and decided to bring Dreytan to the hospital before I went. Nana promised to meet me there so that I could visit with you and she would watch Drey. Well, she never showed up. I met her and Les as I was getting into the car. That really hurt.
I don't know if I'll ever let you read this letters, but it really does help me to write them. It's the closest I can get to talking to you.
Anyways, I should be getting going as I have more housework to do. I'll write more when I have a chance.
I love you. Twyla
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