Tulip's Tantrums

Katrina's words really spoke to me. From Jennifer Pastiloff's website . JOURNEY TOWARDS SELF-ACCEPTANCE. FEBRUARY 14, 2015 By Katrina Willis. My relationship with food and with my body is complicated, slippery, broken. My ability to deal with it from a place of reason and intellect waxes and wanes. No matter how it may or may not manifest itself, I will always have an eating disorder. Just as rape is not about sex, eating disorders are not necessarily about food. For me, it is a hole that needs to be filled; an endless, confusing journey toward self-acceptance and the ability to say without second-guessing: I am worthy, I am whole, I am enough. It is about control, or lack thereof. It is about shame. ** I can’t be trusted around food. I don’t trust myself to prepare it. I don’t trust myself to eat it. When other people cook for me, it feels safe. And I know what they choose for me is better than what I might choose for myself. I am constantly at battle with ...

I'm over a month late, but happy new year! I hope your best of 2014 is your worst of 2015. Life is busy as always. Ellie and I volunteer at the airport on Fridays now. We walk the strip and meet people and talk with them. They pet Ellie and perhaps get rid of some anxiety or tension. Today we spoke with an airport employee who had to put her two dogs down last June. She teared up petting Ellie and telling me about it. I think it was good for her to get it out without fear of being judged. It helped. The kids are all doing fine. Drey and Jo are staying busy working and running their house. Kier and Tyler are still with us. They've got their down payment and just put an offer in on a house!! They're playing the back and forth bartering game, but that should be over soon. We're so excited for them. Braunt, Bre and Ariya are all doing well. Braunt's working hard and Bre works equally as hard at home. Ariya. Oh my Peanut. She is getting so big! She started walking ...

We got a little snow yesterday. About 20 cm (8") with it still coming down and expected to end around noon today. I don't mind the snow so much as the cold. While our temps aren't supposed to be too bad, the windchill is going to bring them almost to -30C. Chilly!! The weather is playing havoc on the roads as well. Kiershyn had her first drive on snow covered highways yesterday. She made it through though and I'm sure learned a lot. Dad's driving her today, so that will give her a little respite. In Ferguson, Missouri, there are riots and looting going on. Michael Brown , an African American,  was shot by a white officer, Darren Wilson, in August of this year. A few days ago, a grand jury decided not to indict Wilson for Brown's death. This has not sat well with a lot of people so instead of doing something constructive, they choose to loot and burn and destroy one another's property. Wow! That's a great way of showing your respect for the dead. O...

Well the night ended late and this morning came early. Peanut came for a sleep over last night. She went to bed about 11 and woke at 4 for a quick bottle. Now she's back sleeping with Opa and I'm still awake. LOL Today's the 25th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall . It was an incredible thing. Watching it on tv, we felt such joy for the people of Germany - especially those in East Germany. Ariya is just such a joy to have around. She is getting VERY busy and moving around everywhere. She's walking along furniture and I'm sure it won't be long before she's walkingd. Peanut will be 9 months on the 17th - getting to be such a big girl! Here's her latest pic from this morning. And here's a picture with Opa last night. Being a granny is so cool. We get to spoil her and love her up and send her home! It really is fantastic! Have a great day! Toodles

Early this week, a crazed individual hit two Canadian Forces soldiers with his car . Warrant Officer Patrice Vincent died from his injuries. Yesterday, an act of terrorism was carried out at our country's capital, when a lone gunman shot and killed Corporal Nathan Cirillo . These deaths are senseless and leave me with a heavy heart. They remind me that Canada is not immune to these things. We've got thousands of people who follow ISIS or are supporters. I'm sure many of them wouldn't hesitate to kill more military, given the chance. We sent 6 planes to fight in Iraq ... that's all? Shouldn't we stand up for with our allies, as they are supporting us? Regardless, we have to be on guard on our home soil ... everyone needs to be! These things can happen anywhere, and the perps don't care who's around; they'll wipe out everyone in their path. Take care, stay aware and love your families like never before. Toodles.

After another long break from my blog, I'm back. Not sure what I'm going to write about. Family, friends, the news? The family is doing good. Everyone gets along well, for the most part. Everyone's healthy and happy. Ariya is growing like a weed; almost walking - at 8 months! She's incredible. Friends. All is well. We see each other when we can. When there's time. Which there isn't much of in this busy world. I cherish the times we do have together. The news. There are just so many things one can talk about with the news. Winnipeg police just found 4 newborn babies' bodies in a storage locker. They're so decomposed the police weren't sure if there were 3 or 4. Very sad. The Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) extremists have been a little quiet lately. Kind of scary. In the past few months they've beheaded many soldiers and news reporters, as well as terrorized and slaughtered their own people. Thousands of civilians have tried...

It's been a long time since I last wrote. Life just takes hold and pushes you along, time slipping past at a quick pace. Our family has gone through a lot of changes; I'll try to bring you up to date on all of them. Darrin and I live in our same home in Fort Saskatchewan. We've been here 13 years now. Darrin is a Health, Safety and Environmental Manager, and works up north 10 days and home 4 days. I stay at home and tend the animals: Gator, Lucy, Joni, Ellie and Tatyana. Dreytan is a power engineer and works just outside of Edmonton. He lives in Fort Saskatchewan with a beautiful girl, Joanna. Joanna is a safety admin and is going back to school in the fall for a dental assistant. Kiershyn lives in Edmonton with a nice young man, Tyler. She works downtown for an engineering firm as an administrative assistant. Ty is an apprentice electrician. They have two wonderful cats: Jimothy and Finnigan. Braunt and his fiancee, Breanna, live in Fort Saskatchewan. Braunt works ...

This post was written back in June 2011. Well it is definitely feeling like summer; we've had more than a few days over 25C. I've vowed this year to not complain about the heat. When we were on vacation it was incredible, and it can be the same here. As you know, I'm overweight. Quite, according to my BMI of 39.5. I've been heavy my whole life and am seriously tired of it. I have tried the diets and the exercise, and even got skinny for a couple weeks, but I always turn back to food. I'm an emotional eater - and there is no emotion that doesn't go with food. Happy, sad, complacent - they've all got a food related. I don't want to be fat anymore. I don't want my grandbabies to know me fat. I don't want to die fat. I just don't want to be fat anymore. So, I'm considering something pretty drastic. I'm trying to arrange surgery called Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG). In doing my research, I've learned that it is one of th...

The weather has been very nice this May. Not too much rain, although we have been hit with an early outbreak of mosquitoes. The news says some of them are decades old eggs. Whatever it is, they're hungry and feasting on everything they can see. I'm loving my photography. Unfortunately, financially it's not liking me. I spend money on new things and gas, and then take free pictures or pics of old buildings and such. A hard market to break into. Plus, I don't think my pics are that good yet, so that's probably part of it. I'm also not advertising enough nor in the right places, so that's a big part. It'll happen or it won't. Meh. Life is interesting right now. My bipolar is all over the place. Doc is trying to figure it out, but then he goes on holidays for three weeks and I have to sit and wait for his return, while trying to figure things out in my own brain. Back to work in a couple weeks (thankfully) and hopefully onward and upward. The family is d...

(Written Jan 2011, posted May 30, 2011) This is going to ramble: Darrin is a fantastic husband. There are very few things he does that would piss off the normal wife. Floods and earthquakes abound. I'm sure those who believe in end times are having a hay day. The devastation from the events is tragic, though. Lives lost and homes destroyed. Horrible. Words cannot describe. Cancer has struck a lot of people I know as of late. Sadly a beautiful, young woman died this morning. Laurel will be missed by many. Mental health problems suck. It goes away and then it comes back, and so on and so on. Unfortunately, most people you deal with will not be able to make concessions for your illness. Or they do once or twice, but when it's the 372 time they have less sympathy.

Finally a post. I've been playing with my camera. I like old buildings. I thought I could photograph people and did a couple 'boudoir' shoots. It was a lot harder than I thought. It will take me a bit to work on the photos, hope to have them done in a couple weeks. Wishful thinking?

I'm going to post this right now. Not later. Now. And I'm going to click Publish Post as soon as I'm finished with my message. I've taken a couple of pictures of old buildings and just took a few beaudoir photos. I'll post shortly. Which, in my time continuum, means they'll be up before the next millenium. Toodles

Happy New Year! We're heading into a new decade. Incredible. Time goes so quickly for me. I'm not sure how I can be 42 already. Sitting beside Darrin with no kids around, it feels like we're 18 again. Right now he's watching hockey - that's the same as '86. lol I'm on the computer - back then I would have been reading. That is one constant forever - Darrin watching sports. :) Life is good at this moment in time. We're all healthy, and mostly happy. All of our needs are taken care of. Our pets are good. I've even kept 8 plants alive for a year. That's my greatest accomplishment. Work is good, Darrin's heading out somewhere in the next couple weeks, Drey's starting his power engineering hours next week, Kier's interviewing and Braunt's working. My Dad got his teeth fixed - in Mexico! It was 5-10% of the cost of the work up here, so even with a flight (air miles) and renting an apartment, he came out much ahead. I am looking forward ...

It is a darn good thing that no one reads this, because it seems I never write in it! Mid December. Happy birthday to Braunt on his 18th and Kier on her 19th. Darrin and I now have adult children. That is really weird LOL. Christmas is rapidly approaching, with very little preparation on our part. Sean and Kim are hosting this year so it will be nice to share with everyone there. We got the nieces and nephews all bought for in 15 minutes. I think we're going to give our kids money so they can get what they'd like. I bought Sean's present already (we are still doing the gift exchange - up to $40 now) but Darrin hasn't gotten anything yet - I think he has Kris. My Dad is done and Mom and Dad got their trip so they'll be good for years lol. Darrin and I also got the trip for our presents, although we're looking at a used treadmill. That's about all. We'll see if I'm able to post again before 2012. Toodles!

Kiershyn's grad was held Monday, June 29, 2009 at the Shaw Conference Centre. Kiershyn looked positively radiant in her gown and Clay was dashing in his suit. A lovely a la carte meal and dessert were followed by the traditional marches, speeches and presentations. Student performances including singing and dancing, and were great. Everything wrapped up after the dance and we made our way home. It was a very nice evening. Congratulations sweetheart! We love you so much!! Toodles!

I never write in this poor little blog anymore. Always too busy with other things. LOL Braunt's graduation was on June 6, 2009. It was held at the Agricom. Braunt is planning to 'take a year off' and then think about going back to school and football. Congratulations Braunt! We love you!!

Questions lead to more questions. How's it going? Do you like it? Is it better? Fine, yes, no. It's feeling really weird. There are a lot of pins and needles on my floor. Another post started but not completed. 09-03-14 Toodles

Yet another tough go round. Supposedly this won't happen again. I've heard it before. The old "been there, done that, have hundreds of t-shirts." I remain the crazy one. People are more cautious. Treated like I'm "special". (Oh, if only you knew! LOL) Careful, I bite. Nod and smile. Toodles. Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

Lyn Cockburn's article Bet on God and you might get lucky is quite interesting. I'm glad we are advertising what I believe to be the correct message to the public , and it's about time. Many people struggle with trying to follow rules to honor their deity. When one realizes how preposterous and impossible the existence of supreme or celestial beings is, one is able to live life without the guilt of displeasing idols and shame of choosing thoughts and actions against their beliefs. Last day of January 2009 - incredible! Time continues on more and more quickly. Hopefully back to the grind soon. Toodles

I'm okay. It's really weird being "off sick" when I am walking and talking and supposed to go to the gym and "carry on". I feel so bad about having to leave work - I know it's crazy and G will either sink or swim. I'm pretty sure L's pissed, but from a supervisor point of view I can understand that. I had a really rough time in December, M. I kept saying I had to be there because G was gone, but I was wrong and should NOT have been there. I needed to be at home and away from everyone to deal with my fucking medication demons in private. I came close to not being here again - but I chose to speak up and say what I was feeling rather than not being here. Good choice, so far. I am rapid cycling right now and just really don't want to share that with the people at work, or anyone for that matter. I fucking hate having a chronic illness that incapacitate's me once or twice yearly - ESPECIALLY because people can't associate it with being il...

Okay so things aren't all good with me. Another reaction will take upwards of a month to get fixed. :( toodles

Happy 2009! I made it through another case of medication reactions. This one was really tough, especially because my co-worker was unable to return from Cuba so I could go home. LOL It's over and hopefully won't occur again. This year held a lot things, good and bad. We still have our health, families and friends. We are still here. Wishing you an amazing journey through 2009, including timdips (see Jan '08). Toodles!

Living can kill you. Hindsight shows again what I should have been watching for. The ups and downs, too much or too little, feeling feelings or feeling nothing and being f'd up. I failed again. No matter that I have done everything "right" for so long ... it shrinks and almost disappears and then it blows up to so fast and violently, it takes my breath. Stop breathing. Sometimes things would be a lot better if all breathing stopped for 10 minutes. "Haha, but then I'd be dead!?" It gets larger and larger and larger, growing to immense proportions, stretching tighter and tighter, having more and more trouble thinking and reasoning and trying to formulate a plan and keep it all together and do this and do that ... stretching, growing, thinning, MAKE IT STOP ... POP! blackness i described naked, alone, lying on a cold - it feels like a rock - uneven and sharp i feel nothing, can see nothing, hear nothing, no one nothing don't move don't blink just go...

Early morning darkness, coldest point, no light whatsoever, can't see more than one step ahead. Far, far away there is a slim, silver line. If you strain you can see it. There are waves, pulling, tossing, dragging under ... toward and away from the line. The silver line lengthens slowly, with it comes unveiling of the mess that was made and the damage remaining. Lengthening and broadening more steadily. One step closer ... Toodles

Hot and cold certainly describes a bp person. A new and complete mystery and adventure, sometimes every day. Everything is a sometimes and sometimes it is everything. Cycling: great for fitness; not so great for brains and lives. Sickness, illness. So hard to talk to anyone. Embarrassing. Mortifying. Up. Life at the other end of the spectrum. Can and will do anything, nothing beyond my reach. Tiresome though too, but no time for rest. Doing things that wouldn't be done at another time. Intense energy. Intense a lot of things actually. And fast. Intense and fast; snappy, quick to anger and happiness. Change change change; new old buy sell! Plans for everything and everything will succeed. Invincible, unyielding, unsurpassable, inviolable. Down. Heartrending, grievous, disconsolate, horrible, forlorn, black, stumbling, defeated, crumbling, distressed, confused, sick, sad, dolorous, cynical, troublesome, angry, inconsolable, dying, tragic, invisible, dead. How long between? Days, hour...

Life here is never dull. Some drama exists if not within our family, then in our extended family or friends or school mates or co-workers. It's never ending. A lot of these could be featured on Jerry Springer or Maury, although Maury is more the baby's momma's daddy's ho's ... she's testing men #1438 #1439 and #1440 to see who's the father of her baby. Often these people are lower income. It's like they have nothing better to do than gossip and yip and yap about whatever is happening or whoever's doing whatever. Or is it all fake, like wrestling, with actors or street people getting paid? From Cheryl S: "So a traitorous opportunist, a socialist, and a spineless moron walk into a bar..." Is it a Joke? Yes, but in Canada it's called a coalition. Did you know piercings and tattoos hurt? It always amazes me when someone says, "that hurt sooo bad!", when it's piercing #258. LOL So our federal government is setting up for a coa...

I was trying to figure out a title for my tantrum tonight when I typed 'b' the auto complete brought up the current title. We have stayed true to working out and average 4 times per week. I'm down 20 since Thanksgiving but that is deceiving too. More importantly, I'm down a whole size in everything. I've also been listening to a couple of tracks by Paul McKenna. I like the relaxation/hypnosis portion best. I've noticed a change in my attitude and eating habits, as well as my desire to exercise. We'll see if it keeps up. I'm really good at being fat, but haven't had much success with being thin. I am tired today - of almost everything. Dary and the kids are incredible; it's outside of our house. I think I'm grumpy too. And I'd like to get some cash for this worn out, saggy body. I guess the title is accurate. Toodles

We are back from our trip to Puerto Moreles, Quintana Roo, Mexico. We stayed at the H10 Ocean Turquesa, a quite nice resort with four pools, a very long and beautiful beach, an incredible buffet, 3 a la carte restaurants, a coffee shop, a sports bar, activites throughout the day and evening, pool snack and swim up bars, amazing shots of all colours (mexican flag was my favourite - monkey brains is disgusting), drinks galore, dark tans and tattoos everywhere, piercings up the wazoo (getting back to our Mayan roots I guess) ...

Yesterday my mom would have turned 59. Wow! Spent some time with a friend today; had breakfast and then went shopping with Miss Bear. It was a good morning that stretched into the afternoon. Thanks to Drey for cleaning all the eaves; it's very much appreciated. Laurie and I have gone to the gym three times this week. The first day we were pretty pooped quickly. On Wednesday we did better. Yesterday we pushed and pushed and did a bunch of extra things and we're still able to walk today. It's amazing how quickly your body gets used to the exercise and how good you feel doing it and afterwards. I'm finishing this the morning of the 15th. I would have had a good sleep had I not had teenagers fighting!! You can all move out to the garage! Toodles

Happy Birthday Kanan! Another year is quickly passing. It will seem like a blink and I'll be yapping about Christmas, which I believe is at Rob and Kris' this year. Blink and all the kids will be grown and out of the house. Blink and we'll have sons and daughters in law, then grandbabies, then then then The days need to slow so I can catch up. :-) Toodles

Tuesday before the September long weekend. Where the hell did summer go?

Drey and I were just talking - it's so nice to have time together without anyone else around. I really like our kids. I think they're pretty amazing - of course I'm prejudice. I just love talking with them and learning about their lives outside of home. It's good to be a mom. Temper temper. Everyone is shocked at the Cuban kicking the referee in the face. WTF?? Regardless of the calls a referee makes IN ANY SPORT, you don't retaliate! And then for his coach to stand behind his decision - appalling. I'm glad this duo will be banned from the World Taekwondo Federation. On a side note, this federation has the same initials, WTF. LOL I've been putting together all of our pictures from the past 20 years. Incredible the changes we go through. I should have some pics ready here in a bit. Toodles!

In the news today: Three more deaths in Afghanistan. Our soldiers are amazing. They are the most brave of the brave and sometimes the least supported. I hope we FULLY take care of the families left behind. My heart breaks for you. Sometimes I think the media releases too much information. A young man was shot in Mississauga last night was identified as the youngest of 19 victims and had been shot several times - and the Toronto Sun reporter prints the previous record!! So now the perp has not only been recognized but his homeys know how many more shots they need to have for the next one! Freaking ridiculous. The Canadian Press has an article out on the existence of the theoretical Higgs boson . I really cannot grasp this. It sounds like it has not been observed and has something to do with particle masses of electromagforcecantfigureout ... Wow! Man dies after being struck in the head with a toilet lid. Gives a whole new meaning to the term shit kicked out of you. (Yes this is in very ...

Why are there criteria for athlete's apparel, but not for beach volleyball? A 1 1/2" strip of elastic would cover more than their tops or bottoms. Why are things like boating and archery in the Olympics? Isn't the point of the games for the best athletes to compete? What's next? Donut nose balancing? Reserve shootings. I understand the aboriginal culture is one of forgiveness, which is why they say they continue to house and accept all sorts of criminals, in this case gang members. Time for tough love. We hear a lot of how aboriginals have so many struggles. Given this and other cases, one wonders how much of this is self inflicted. Kids and guns don't mix. Kids and machinery don't mix. Kids and motorized vehicles don't mix. So no more gopher hunting, tractor operating or quadding. At least not until 14-16 years old. Tim McLean's killer now has a lawyer. Isn't that interesting. He asked for death; grant his wish. There is going to be a whole shitlo...

I've made it to 40. Wow! I'm surprised. Being sick for a good portion of these years hasn't always lent itself to self preservation. After good doctors, the main reason I'm still intact is my Dary. He is an incredible man and I'm so fortunate to have him as my friend. I cover my feelings with smart ass remarks and laughter, but I was scared about today; it's one step closer to that day. Mom made it 15,129 days; can I make 15,130? January 18, 2010 is that day. I'm like my mom in some ways and different in others, I know. It's highly unlikely I'm going to go like her or in the time frame she went or ... this is silly but it's something in my mind. I made it past my natural dad's death day. One more to go, unless it happens sooner than that. Great Grandma Pierce used to ask how old you think and feel? I think and feel about 28 to 30. I behave like I'm about 5. I have the memory span of a newt (the hamster in my brain wheel is on sabbatica...

... and I celebrate my 40th birthday. 40! I remember a lot of different people turning 40. Many of them were OLD though. Am I old too Yup, over the hill, on my way out, becoming a daisy grower, retirement looming like a dark cloud, 90 just a tiny skip away. I bet I make it to midnight. lol Toodles!

We're on day 13 or 15 or something of this detox. Haven't noticed any of those freaky long things we saw on one website , but then again we're not digging through our poop so there's a chance we're missing it too. The colours that are coming out - wow!! Today was green - the colour dirt looks when they spray it with that stick on grass seed. More on the teal side of green - very bright. A few days ago it was blue like the ocean. Like you wanted to know that. I'm in a really bad mood tonight. I feel snarky and snide and just plain mean. Not sure why. It started this afternoon at work and progressed at home. Hmm, interesting. I should really be hiding in my room with my book; maybe sleeping or something. Even poor little Lucy got yelled at! All because she had to pee and it was raining outside so she wouldn't go. Suck it up momums and quit grumping! Tim McLean's murder is horrendous. My sincere sympathy to Tim's family and friends. There are some ...

Things are definitely looser but no great size change. I've noticed a headache today, and massive stomach rumblings with stinky gas.

Dary and I have decided to each do a detoxification - to clean out everything. Today's day 2 and so far I've had no diarrhea or headache or anything else. The output hasn't been anything out of the ordinary, but I understand it takes a few days for everything to loosen up, so to speak. This gives a whole new meaning to 'feeling fresh'. Liptrums: Gene Simmons took a break from a press conference to recognize our military. Wow! We have Canadians who don't even do that! The States far exceeds us in how they honour and keep their military front and centre. 18 kids may not be enough?! Livia Ionce and her husband Alexandru just welcomed their 18th child on Tuesday. This article is from May and speaks a bit more about the family. I find it remarkable that two seemingly intelligent adults have not figured out that sperm and egg make a child. Pretty simple, I think. Instead, they choose to leave it to their beliefs. WTF? Responsibility needs to be taken for all ac...

When I started this post, I was feeling badly because I saw similarities between someone quite sick and myself. I wondered if I was still that sick or if I was doing better. It's so hard to tell. I read an excellent one-word description of mental illness: crippling . Everything is crippled or at least compromised when one is mentally ill. Self, family, friends, possessions, jobs, trust; the list is endless. The fear of relapsing is tremendous, sometimes overwhelming. Backward is not a good direction. What if something kicks out? What if something just snaps and * poof * I'm diving back into the completely dead darkness of my mind; pulling away from everyone and everything; wanting to be anywhere but here. The pain and suffering this causes my family is horrendous. Things have happened so often though, that it's the "norm" now. No one reacts or gets too worked up. Shit happens and it will go one way or another. How much worse can it be than it has been? Each tim...

I am so very tired of being woke up during the night. I am seriously considering moving my teens out to the garage and the shed after 6PM. OMG - Enough! So Eddie's office got "bombarded" with calls yesterday. They got approximately 1500. Having been on reception before I know how much work that causes. But ce la vie. I think the numbers show that those of us who are pissed off either didn't want to or didn't have time to call Stelmach's office. Realistically, pissing off the taxpayers is nothing new. We elect them, they do whatever the hell they want, and we re-elect them or one of their counterparts anyway. Dictator attitudes coming through a democratic system. It's always been the same, people. Why do we keep expecting it to change? Racists comments lead to soccer brawl with a parent injured. WTF? First of all, why do we continue to have racism when we've been living with such diversity for so long; we all breath and eat and sleep and have blood and ...

Setting the counter to capture one time visits has proved that very few of the original 5K visitors were actual people. It was obviously mostly me when I was posting or making changes. To whom, then, am I "speaking" when I write my posts? The air. I can be so narcissistic. What would you say if you knew you wouldn't wake up in the morning? One sentence. ...

Last night was the Fort Saskatchewan High School graduation. Drey was Kennda's escort, Kiershyn was Jill's escort, and Braunt was an usher. They attended two different post-grad celebrations, and a good time was had by all . Congratulations! be smart, be safe, don't be afraid to talk, ask questions, figure things out, protect yourself, respect yourself, know you're loved by someone more than you could ever imagine, you are amazing - absolutely incredible, the best, be true to your beliefs, embrace each day, learn something new each day, love always, always love, love all ways, forever Toodles!

I've been trying out different layouts for a while and have happened upon (ever thought what that really means??) one that I like. I like the greens and the three columns and the little flowers below the header (my mom-in-law can draw wicked little flowers - ya, I know, where the heck did that come from?). I added a new counter, but couldn't remember what number I was at, so started again at 5000. I'm tracking unique visitors too, so that's better. Wii is supposed to get you up and off the couch, and involved in many movements as you compete against family and friends in sports like bowling, golf, fishing and many more including fitness tracking. We're great at changing things to suit our needs. Introducing ... Wii Couch! (Sure to be a hit with Homer and his peeps.) Yes, Darrin has mastered Couch Wii - an viable alternative to physically participating (heaven forbid) in any games. For just $29.99 plus s/h, you too can learn Darrin's secrets. He has mastered ...

I'm feeling the need to get a good rant going. Just let loose about everything and everyone that is currently pissing me off. You know how something will happen between two people, and one person blows it WAY out of proportion? Well, get over it already! You have absolutely no idea that I'm talking to you, but I am and you really need to get off your high horse and quit playing the poor princess. Author clarification: this has absolutely nothing to do with anyone related to me. :-) Move on with your life, Bessy. The tragic murder/suicide of the Lall family and Miss Bowerman in Calgary last week is beyond any words I can think of. My sincere condolences to the family and friends. Mental illness is still pushed into the shadows and those afflicted are treated like they "aren't all there"; like they're afflicted with an unspeakable disease that is highly contagious; like they're crazy - whatever that means. Many suffer in silence, however some get to the po...

Mr. Movold took some great pictures of Braunt, Ryan and Tim at the Edmonton Eskimos camp game. Braunt is 44 yellow, Ryan is 23 green and Tim is 25 green. The easiest way to pick them out is by their gold Sting helmets. http://picasaweb.google.com/Movolds/EdmontonEskimoHighSchoolCampIntersquadGame?authkey=E8I6arBpgIg Enjoy!

I am so consistent! Started this message, got pulled away from the computer, and never got back to it. Oops! Braunt just got up for football this morning - 10 minutes late. He wondered why I didn't wake him up, but I didn't remember. Mostly, he's got an alarm or two. May long weekend already! This year is going even quicker than last. I'm glad to see gas hasn't gone up yet - $1.20 for regular is crazy!

Bob calls his buddy Steve, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. Steve asks 'How will I recognize him?' 'That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment.' So, the midget shows up, and Steve asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. 'A female horth.' So he shows him a prized filly. 'Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?' Steve picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. 'Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth'? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears. 'Nith earzth, can I see her mouf'?' The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth. 'Nice mouf, can I see her twat?' Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's face into the horse's twat, and slams him on the ground. The midget gets u...

I never thought I'd see the day something I created visited 5000 times. Wow! Okay, now let's break this down for a minute: 5000 visits could equal 5000 minutes. 5000 minutes divided by 254 blog posts equals 19.685 minutes per blog. Which means ... where the hell am I going with this? In reality, my blog counter updates any time you refresh your browser. I make a lot of changes and THAT is what causes my counter to increase. *snap back to reality* WWMD? What's that, you ask? What would momums do? We could also go with WWGD? What would Granny do? If her family member hadn't talked to her for years, she would just show up on the doorstep and fix things then and there. *ytil aero tk cabpans* Life is just a bunch of gerbil wheels. Hop on this one, run and keep up or fall off. Sometimes being punted off is more difficult. When you should be on a 6" wheel MAX, but you thought you could handle the 12" - that just has pain written all over it. You skipped from the 2...

Reading the Sunday morning newspaper can bring out a plethora of thoughts and emotions. Sounds like Inkfest is going well. We like tattoos in our family. I do encourage our kids not to get anything done on a part of your body that is easily shown. I guess that part of me is old school - tats aren't part of the boardroom yet. I think that sleeves are gorgeous, but just not for me. I realize I don't really have any say in this, but encourage them all to wait a couple years until they start colouring everything. A fire near Commonwealth Stadium sent a woman to hospital. She isn't cooperating with police. The message that sends to me is she's involved in some form of illegal activity. Perhaps I'm wrong, but what other reason would keep you from assisting authorities. Further, let's assume these people are involved in less than desirable things. Why the hell do neighbours allow their names to be published in the paper??? Is there not a possibility of repercussions? ...

Do you ever wonder what your life purpose is? I do sometimes. Other times, like tonight, I know diddly squat. Being a mom is an interesting thing.

If there is one piece of parenting advice I can share it is to talk with your kids. Ya ya, you're saying, you already talk to your kids. But do you really? Kids will say and do the darndest things, won't they. Do you really know what your kid is like when outside the house, or do you just think you know what's in their heads? What's on the go with their friends. What's making them most and least happy? I'm not trying to imply that I know my kids in and out. There are things I don't know and likely things I don't want to know. I think we've kept open lines of communication with our kids since they've been born. We've heard more than one difficult question. That means hearing some things you may not want to listen to. If you close off one conversation without listening respectfully or by giving a brush off answer, you may not get asked again. Maybe the next question was a really important one - one that you would give anything to go back and ha...

I didn't realize how much I use the word WELL; way too much! So, we'll try to get away from that - now so is the bad word. Oh hell, close the window if you don't want to read my wordiness. LOL Saturday morning and many things to do. The house is a disaster, I've got to get the system for the house ordered, groceries, more cleaning, banking, pub night tonight. There's always something. I'm just finishing my pot of coffee. Darrin drinks a lot of coffee. I can take it or leave it, but will have some most mornings. I prefer decaf but am not allowed to make it if I have to share with Stirstik - he likes the full strength, STRONG brew that holds up a big spoon. It's supposed to be really warm today; 19C. Anything over 10 will be a treat. Time to get out the lawn chairs, clean off the barbeque and sweep the patio. Woohoo! I'm not tucking the snow shovel completely away, but I'm sure hoping it won't see anymore use. Have to pick up groceries today, for w...

I feel like shit; my ass is dragging more than we used to on main street. theatrical pause Okay. That was lame. I'll stick to my day job. Seriously, I'm extra tired. Not always a good sign, but that remains to be seen. I used my FB stats to ponder if our house will get egged this weekend. We came out this afternoon to find Braunt's car had been kicked in in the back end. Now, again, I am not saying this is anyone specific. We get a lot of kids hanging around because of the schools, so it could be anyone. Going to try to post a video, but not sure if it will work. I find this song thought provoking. Well, that didn't work. Let's try this again. object width = " 425" height=" 355"> Well, I'm not sure that will show us a video. Man! Well, I can get it on my FB if this doesn't work so head over there. Enough for tonight. It's time for bed ... or laying on the couch on stake-out. :-) Toodles!

In re-reading my Saturday morning post, I see where my words may have been misunderstood by someone who doesn't understand for whom the post was written. To clarify: We awoke to a difficult situation early Saturday morning. It did not and does not involve the egging of our house, nor anyone outside of our house or family. It involved our youngest son and his incredibly bad choice that caused us to be roused from our bed. My rant of two posts ago was pointed directly at my youngest son, who made an incredibly stupid choice. My words were written to him, to further add to the lengthy discussion we had into the wee hours of Saturday morning. It was to reiterate everything Darrin and I had talked and ranted and raved and cried about to him. It was my plea to publicly tell him to smarten up and not take anything for granted. When I wrote that I would not tolerate anymore bad choices, I meant that this was his third bad choice in as many weeks and that Darrin and I are at the end of ...

Anchorage is mourning the loss of Buzzwinkle , who was euthanized after being found emaciated. Buzzwinkle received his name after imbibing some fermented crab apples. I read this morning about a 17-year-old Canadian teen being sentenced to one year in prison and 200 lashes. I don't condone this as a blanket punishment for everyone, however I believe the number of repeat offenders would be cut down considerable if this was a known consequence for illegal behaviour. I watched Lockdown last night. Some inmates were talking about their lives growing up and how things changed when they got older. They all said they, "should have called the police," but didn't for a variety of reasons. People who choose to get into bad situations and CHOOSE not to get themselves out or smack the dumb ass "friend" who is doing the illegal activity face the same consequences, if not more. Many of them are "scapegoats", whether truly or only in their imagination, but i...

Okay, I've got a more than a few things to rant about today. WTF!?!?!?!?!? First and foremost: I challenge the youngsters in the little SUV, who ONCE AGAIN egged our house, to have the kajonees (that's BALLS to those of you who can only spell in single letters and words without vowels) to come to my house . Bring your folks along! I'm sure we'll all get along splendidly . What's that? You can't make it? Maybe you don't want your parents to know? Well, let me come to you . No, no, it's no problem at all; I can easily accommodate you and your schedule. I welcome having an intelligent discussion and debate about the danger you put our family into when you hit our large 45-year-old picture window which, I'm sure your parents will agree , can be fatal if the brittle thing broke, hurting or killing the person sitting on the couch below the window. I'd love to hear from you! Give me a shout soon so we can get together. Love, hugs and kisses!! :-) On...