Tulip's Tantrums

Yet another tough go round. Supposedly this won't happen again. I've heard it before. The old "been there, done that, have hundreds of t-shirts." I remain the crazy one. People are more cautious. Treated like I'm "special". (Oh, if only you knew! LOL) Careful, I bite. Nod and smile. Toodles. Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

Lyn Cockburn's article Bet on God and you might get lucky is quite interesting. I'm glad we are advertising what I believe to be the correct message to the public , and it's about time. Many people struggle with trying to follow rules to honor their deity. When one realizes how preposterous and impossible the existence of supreme or celestial beings is, one is able to live life without the guilt of displeasing idols and shame of choosing thoughts and actions against their beliefs. Last day of January 2009 - incredible! Time continues on more and more quickly. Hopefully back to the grind soon. Toodles

I'm okay. It's really weird being "off sick" when I am walking and talking and supposed to go to the gym and "carry on". I feel so bad about having to leave work - I know it's crazy and G will either sink or swim. I'm pretty sure L's pissed, but from a supervisor point of view I can understand that. I had a really rough time in December, M. I kept saying I had to be there because G was gone, but I was wrong and should NOT have been there. I needed to be at home and away from everyone to deal with my fucking medication demons in private. I came close to not being here again - but I chose to speak up and say what I was feeling rather than not being here. Good choice, so far. I am rapid cycling right now and just really don't want to share that with the people at work, or anyone for that matter. I fucking hate having a chronic illness that incapacitate's me once or twice yearly - ESPECIALLY because people can't associate it with being il...

Okay so things aren't all good with me. Another reaction will take upwards of a month to get fixed. :( toodles

Happy 2009! I made it through another case of medication reactions. This one was really tough, especially because my co-worker was unable to return from Cuba so I could go home. LOL It's over and hopefully won't occur again. This year held a lot things, good and bad. We still have our health, families and friends. We are still here. Wishing you an amazing journey through 2009, including timdips (see Jan '08). Toodles!

Living can kill you. Hindsight shows again what I should have been watching for. The ups and downs, too much or too little, feeling feelings or feeling nothing and being f'd up. I failed again. No matter that I have done everything "right" for so long ... it shrinks and almost disappears and then it blows up to so fast and violently, it takes my breath. Stop breathing. Sometimes things would be a lot better if all breathing stopped for 10 minutes. "Haha, but then I'd be dead!?" It gets larger and larger and larger, growing to immense proportions, stretching tighter and tighter, having more and more trouble thinking and reasoning and trying to formulate a plan and keep it all together and do this and do that ... stretching, growing, thinning, MAKE IT STOP ... POP! blackness i described naked, alone, lying on a cold - it feels like a rock - uneven and sharp i feel nothing, can see nothing, hear nothing, no one nothing don't move don't blink just go...

Early morning darkness, coldest point, no light whatsoever, can't see more than one step ahead. Far, far away there is a slim, silver line. If you strain you can see it. There are waves, pulling, tossing, dragging under ... toward and away from the line. The silver line lengthens slowly, with it comes unveiling of the mess that was made and the damage remaining. Lengthening and broadening more steadily. One step closer ... Toodles

Hot and cold certainly describes a bp person. A new and complete mystery and adventure, sometimes every day. Everything is a sometimes and sometimes it is everything. Cycling: great for fitness; not so great for brains and lives. Sickness, illness. So hard to talk to anyone. Embarrassing. Mortifying. Up. Life at the other end of the spectrum. Can and will do anything, nothing beyond my reach. Tiresome though too, but no time for rest. Doing things that wouldn't be done at another time. Intense energy. Intense a lot of things actually. And fast. Intense and fast; snappy, quick to anger and happiness. Change change change; new old buy sell! Plans for everything and everything will succeed. Invincible, unyielding, unsurpassable, inviolable. Down. Heartrending, grievous, disconsolate, horrible, forlorn, black, stumbling, defeated, crumbling, distressed, confused, sick, sad, dolorous, cynical, troublesome, angry, inconsolable, dying, tragic, invisible, dead. How long between? Days, hour...

Life here is never dull. Some drama exists if not within our family, then in our extended family or friends or school mates or co-workers. It's never ending. A lot of these could be featured on Jerry Springer or Maury, although Maury is more the baby's momma's daddy's ho's ... she's testing men #1438 #1439 and #1440 to see who's the father of her baby. Often these people are lower income. It's like they have nothing better to do than gossip and yip and yap about whatever is happening or whoever's doing whatever. Or is it all fake, like wrestling, with actors or street people getting paid? From Cheryl S: "So a traitorous opportunist, a socialist, and a spineless moron walk into a bar..." Is it a Joke? Yes, but in Canada it's called a coalition. Did you know piercings and tattoos hurt? It always amazes me when someone says, "that hurt sooo bad!", when it's piercing #258. LOL So our federal government is setting up for a coa...

I was trying to figure out a title for my tantrum tonight when I typed 'b' the auto complete brought up the current title. We have stayed true to working out and average 4 times per week. I'm down 20 since Thanksgiving but that is deceiving too. More importantly, I'm down a whole size in everything. I've also been listening to a couple of tracks by Paul McKenna. I like the relaxation/hypnosis portion best. I've noticed a change in my attitude and eating habits, as well as my desire to exercise. We'll see if it keeps up. I'm really good at being fat, but haven't had much success with being thin. I am tired today - of almost everything. Dary and the kids are incredible; it's outside of our house. I think I'm grumpy too. And I'd like to get some cash for this worn out, saggy body. I guess the title is accurate. Toodles

We are back from our trip to Puerto Moreles, Quintana Roo, Mexico. We stayed at the H10 Ocean Turquesa, a quite nice resort with four pools, a very long and beautiful beach, an incredible buffet, 3 a la carte restaurants, a coffee shop, a sports bar, activites throughout the day and evening, pool snack and swim up bars, amazing shots of all colours (mexican flag was my favourite - monkey brains is disgusting), drinks galore, dark tans and tattoos everywhere, piercings up the wazoo (getting back to our Mayan roots I guess) ...

Yesterday my mom would have turned 59. Wow! Spent some time with a friend today; had breakfast and then went shopping with Miss Bear. It was a good morning that stretched into the afternoon. Thanks to Drey for cleaning all the eaves; it's very much appreciated. Laurie and I have gone to the gym three times this week. The first day we were pretty pooped quickly. On Wednesday we did better. Yesterday we pushed and pushed and did a bunch of extra things and we're still able to walk today. It's amazing how quickly your body gets used to the exercise and how good you feel doing it and afterwards. I'm finishing this the morning of the 15th. I would have had a good sleep had I not had teenagers fighting!! You can all move out to the garage! Toodles

Happy Birthday Kanan! Another year is quickly passing. It will seem like a blink and I'll be yapping about Christmas, which I believe is at Rob and Kris' this year. Blink and all the kids will be grown and out of the house. Blink and we'll have sons and daughters in law, then grandbabies, then then then The days need to slow so I can catch up. :-) Toodles

Tuesday before the September long weekend. Where the hell did summer go?

Drey and I were just talking - it's so nice to have time together without anyone else around. I really like our kids. I think they're pretty amazing - of course I'm prejudice. I just love talking with them and learning about their lives outside of home. It's good to be a mom. Temper temper. Everyone is shocked at the Cuban kicking the referee in the face. WTF?? Regardless of the calls a referee makes IN ANY SPORT, you don't retaliate! And then for his coach to stand behind his decision - appalling. I'm glad this duo will be banned from the World Taekwondo Federation. On a side note, this federation has the same initials, WTF. LOL I've been putting together all of our pictures from the past 20 years. Incredible the changes we go through. I should have some pics ready here in a bit. Toodles!

In the news today: Three more deaths in Afghanistan. Our soldiers are amazing. They are the most brave of the brave and sometimes the least supported. I hope we FULLY take care of the families left behind. My heart breaks for you. Sometimes I think the media releases too much information. A young man was shot in Mississauga last night was identified as the youngest of 19 victims and had been shot several times - and the Toronto Sun reporter prints the previous record!! So now the perp has not only been recognized but his homeys know how many more shots they need to have for the next one! Freaking ridiculous. The Canadian Press has an article out on the existence of the theoretical Higgs boson . I really cannot grasp this. It sounds like it has not been observed and has something to do with particle masses of electromagforcecantfigureout ... Wow! Man dies after being struck in the head with a toilet lid. Gives a whole new meaning to the term shit kicked out of you. (Yes this is in very ...

Why are there criteria for athlete's apparel, but not for beach volleyball? A 1 1/2" strip of elastic would cover more than their tops or bottoms. Why are things like boating and archery in the Olympics? Isn't the point of the games for the best athletes to compete? What's next? Donut nose balancing? Reserve shootings. I understand the aboriginal culture is one of forgiveness, which is why they say they continue to house and accept all sorts of criminals, in this case gang members. Time for tough love. We hear a lot of how aboriginals have so many struggles. Given this and other cases, one wonders how much of this is self inflicted. Kids and guns don't mix. Kids and machinery don't mix. Kids and motorized vehicles don't mix. So no more gopher hunting, tractor operating or quadding. At least not until 14-16 years old. Tim McLean's killer now has a lawyer. Isn't that interesting. He asked for death; grant his wish. There is going to be a whole shitlo...

I've made it to 40. Wow! I'm surprised. Being sick for a good portion of these years hasn't always lent itself to self preservation. After good doctors, the main reason I'm still intact is my Dary. He is an incredible man and I'm so fortunate to have him as my friend. I cover my feelings with smart ass remarks and laughter, but I was scared about today; it's one step closer to that day. Mom made it 15,129 days; can I make 15,130? January 18, 2010 is that day. I'm like my mom in some ways and different in others, I know. It's highly unlikely I'm going to go like her or in the time frame she went or ... this is silly but it's something in my mind. I made it past my natural dad's death day. One more to go, unless it happens sooner than that. Great Grandma Pierce used to ask how old you think and feel? I think and feel about 28 to 30. I behave like I'm about 5. I have the memory span of a newt (the hamster in my brain wheel is on sabbatica...

... and I celebrate my 40th birthday. 40! I remember a lot of different people turning 40. Many of them were OLD though. Am I old too Yup, over the hill, on my way out, becoming a daisy grower, retirement looming like a dark cloud, 90 just a tiny skip away. I bet I make it to midnight. lol Toodles!

We're on day 13 or 15 or something of this detox. Haven't noticed any of those freaky long things we saw on one website , but then again we're not digging through our poop so there's a chance we're missing it too. The colours that are coming out - wow!! Today was green - the colour dirt looks when they spray it with that stick on grass seed. More on the teal side of green - very bright. A few days ago it was blue like the ocean. Like you wanted to know that. I'm in a really bad mood tonight. I feel snarky and snide and just plain mean. Not sure why. It started this afternoon at work and progressed at home. Hmm, interesting. I should really be hiding in my room with my book; maybe sleeping or something. Even poor little Lucy got yelled at! All because she had to pee and it was raining outside so she wouldn't go. Suck it up momums and quit grumping! Tim McLean's murder is horrendous. My sincere sympathy to Tim's family and friends. There are some ...

Things are definitely looser but no great size change. I've noticed a headache today, and massive stomach rumblings with stinky gas.

Dary and I have decided to each do a detoxification - to clean out everything. Today's day 2 and so far I've had no diarrhea or headache or anything else. The output hasn't been anything out of the ordinary, but I understand it takes a few days for everything to loosen up, so to speak. This gives a whole new meaning to 'feeling fresh'. Liptrums: Gene Simmons took a break from a press conference to recognize our military. Wow! We have Canadians who don't even do that! The States far exceeds us in how they honour and keep their military front and centre. 18 kids may not be enough?! Livia Ionce and her husband Alexandru just welcomed their 18th child on Tuesday. This article is from May and speaks a bit more about the family. I find it remarkable that two seemingly intelligent adults have not figured out that sperm and egg make a child. Pretty simple, I think. Instead, they choose to leave it to their beliefs. WTF? Responsibility needs to be taken for all ac...

When I started this post, I was feeling badly because I saw similarities between someone quite sick and myself. I wondered if I was still that sick or if I was doing better. It's so hard to tell. I read an excellent one-word description of mental illness: crippling . Everything is crippled or at least compromised when one is mentally ill. Self, family, friends, possessions, jobs, trust; the list is endless. The fear of relapsing is tremendous, sometimes overwhelming. Backward is not a good direction. What if something kicks out? What if something just snaps and * poof * I'm diving back into the completely dead darkness of my mind; pulling away from everyone and everything; wanting to be anywhere but here. The pain and suffering this causes my family is horrendous. Things have happened so often though, that it's the "norm" now. No one reacts or gets too worked up. Shit happens and it will go one way or another. How much worse can it be than it has been? Each tim...

I am so very tired of being woke up during the night. I am seriously considering moving my teens out to the garage and the shed after 6PM. OMG - Enough! So Eddie's office got "bombarded" with calls yesterday. They got approximately 1500. Having been on reception before I know how much work that causes. But ce la vie. I think the numbers show that those of us who are pissed off either didn't want to or didn't have time to call Stelmach's office. Realistically, pissing off the taxpayers is nothing new. We elect them, they do whatever the hell they want, and we re-elect them or one of their counterparts anyway. Dictator attitudes coming through a democratic system. It's always been the same, people. Why do we keep expecting it to change? Racists comments lead to soccer brawl with a parent injured. WTF? First of all, why do we continue to have racism when we've been living with such diversity for so long; we all breath and eat and sleep and have blood and ...

Setting the counter to capture one time visits has proved that very few of the original 5K visitors were actual people. It was obviously mostly me when I was posting or making changes. To whom, then, am I "speaking" when I write my posts? The air. I can be so narcissistic. What would you say if you knew you wouldn't wake up in the morning? One sentence. ...

Last night was the Fort Saskatchewan High School graduation. Drey was Kennda's escort, Kiershyn was Jill's escort, and Braunt was an usher. They attended two different post-grad celebrations, and a good time was had by all . Congratulations! be smart, be safe, don't be afraid to talk, ask questions, figure things out, protect yourself, respect yourself, know you're loved by someone more than you could ever imagine, you are amazing - absolutely incredible, the best, be true to your beliefs, embrace each day, learn something new each day, love always, always love, love all ways, forever Toodles!

I've been trying out different layouts for a while and have happened upon (ever thought what that really means??) one that I like. I like the greens and the three columns and the little flowers below the header (my mom-in-law can draw wicked little flowers - ya, I know, where the heck did that come from?). I added a new counter, but couldn't remember what number I was at, so started again at 5000. I'm tracking unique visitors too, so that's better. Wii is supposed to get you up and off the couch, and involved in many movements as you compete against family and friends in sports like bowling, golf, fishing and many more including fitness tracking. We're great at changing things to suit our needs. Introducing ... Wii Couch! (Sure to be a hit with Homer and his peeps.) Yes, Darrin has mastered Couch Wii - an viable alternative to physically participating (heaven forbid) in any games. For just $29.99 plus s/h, you too can learn Darrin's secrets. He has mastered ...

I'm feeling the need to get a good rant going. Just let loose about everything and everyone that is currently pissing me off. You know how something will happen between two people, and one person blows it WAY out of proportion? Well, get over it already! You have absolutely no idea that I'm talking to you, but I am and you really need to get off your high horse and quit playing the poor princess. Author clarification: this has absolutely nothing to do with anyone related to me. :-) Move on with your life, Bessy. The tragic murder/suicide of the Lall family and Miss Bowerman in Calgary last week is beyond any words I can think of. My sincere condolences to the family and friends. Mental illness is still pushed into the shadows and those afflicted are treated like they "aren't all there"; like they're afflicted with an unspeakable disease that is highly contagious; like they're crazy - whatever that means. Many suffer in silence, however some get to the po...

Mr. Movold took some great pictures of Braunt, Ryan and Tim at the Edmonton Eskimos camp game. Braunt is 44 yellow, Ryan is 23 green and Tim is 25 green. The easiest way to pick them out is by their gold Sting helmets. http://picasaweb.google.com/Movolds/EdmontonEskimoHighSchoolCampIntersquadGame?authkey=E8I6arBpgIg Enjoy!

I am so consistent! Started this message, got pulled away from the computer, and never got back to it. Oops! Braunt just got up for football this morning - 10 minutes late. He wondered why I didn't wake him up, but I didn't remember. Mostly, he's got an alarm or two. May long weekend already! This year is going even quicker than last. I'm glad to see gas hasn't gone up yet - $1.20 for regular is crazy!

Bob calls his buddy Steve, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. Steve asks 'How will I recognize him?' 'That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment.' So, the midget shows up, and Steve asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. 'A female horth.' So he shows him a prized filly. 'Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?' Steve picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. 'Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth'? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears. 'Nith earzth, can I see her mouf'?' The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth. 'Nice mouf, can I see her twat?' Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's face into the horse's twat, and slams him on the ground. The midget gets u...

I never thought I'd see the day something I created visited 5000 times. Wow! Okay, now let's break this down for a minute: 5000 visits could equal 5000 minutes. 5000 minutes divided by 254 blog posts equals 19.685 minutes per blog. Which means ... where the hell am I going with this? In reality, my blog counter updates any time you refresh your browser. I make a lot of changes and THAT is what causes my counter to increase. *snap back to reality* WWMD? What's that, you ask? What would momums do? We could also go with WWGD? What would Granny do? If her family member hadn't talked to her for years, she would just show up on the doorstep and fix things then and there. *ytil aero tk cabpans* Life is just a bunch of gerbil wheels. Hop on this one, run and keep up or fall off. Sometimes being punted off is more difficult. When you should be on a 6" wheel MAX, but you thought you could handle the 12" - that just has pain written all over it. You skipped from the 2...

Reading the Sunday morning newspaper can bring out a plethora of thoughts and emotions. Sounds like Inkfest is going well. We like tattoos in our family. I do encourage our kids not to get anything done on a part of your body that is easily shown. I guess that part of me is old school - tats aren't part of the boardroom yet. I think that sleeves are gorgeous, but just not for me. I realize I don't really have any say in this, but encourage them all to wait a couple years until they start colouring everything. A fire near Commonwealth Stadium sent a woman to hospital. She isn't cooperating with police. The message that sends to me is she's involved in some form of illegal activity. Perhaps I'm wrong, but what other reason would keep you from assisting authorities. Further, let's assume these people are involved in less than desirable things. Why the hell do neighbours allow their names to be published in the paper??? Is there not a possibility of repercussions? ...

Do you ever wonder what your life purpose is? I do sometimes. Other times, like tonight, I know diddly squat. Being a mom is an interesting thing.

If there is one piece of parenting advice I can share it is to talk with your kids. Ya ya, you're saying, you already talk to your kids. But do you really? Kids will say and do the darndest things, won't they. Do you really know what your kid is like when outside the house, or do you just think you know what's in their heads? What's on the go with their friends. What's making them most and least happy? I'm not trying to imply that I know my kids in and out. There are things I don't know and likely things I don't want to know. I think we've kept open lines of communication with our kids since they've been born. We've heard more than one difficult question. That means hearing some things you may not want to listen to. If you close off one conversation without listening respectfully or by giving a brush off answer, you may not get asked again. Maybe the next question was a really important one - one that you would give anything to go back and ha...

I didn't realize how much I use the word WELL; way too much! So, we'll try to get away from that - now so is the bad word. Oh hell, close the window if you don't want to read my wordiness. LOL Saturday morning and many things to do. The house is a disaster, I've got to get the system for the house ordered, groceries, more cleaning, banking, pub night tonight. There's always something. I'm just finishing my pot of coffee. Darrin drinks a lot of coffee. I can take it or leave it, but will have some most mornings. I prefer decaf but am not allowed to make it if I have to share with Stirstik - he likes the full strength, STRONG brew that holds up a big spoon. It's supposed to be really warm today; 19C. Anything over 10 will be a treat. Time to get out the lawn chairs, clean off the barbeque and sweep the patio. Woohoo! I'm not tucking the snow shovel completely away, but I'm sure hoping it won't see anymore use. Have to pick up groceries today, for w...

I feel like shit; my ass is dragging more than we used to on main street. theatrical pause Okay. That was lame. I'll stick to my day job. Seriously, I'm extra tired. Not always a good sign, but that remains to be seen. I used my FB stats to ponder if our house will get egged this weekend. We came out this afternoon to find Braunt's car had been kicked in in the back end. Now, again, I am not saying this is anyone specific. We get a lot of kids hanging around because of the schools, so it could be anyone. Going to try to post a video, but not sure if it will work. I find this song thought provoking. Well, that didn't work. Let's try this again. object width = " 425" height=" 355"> Well, I'm not sure that will show us a video. Man! Well, I can get it on my FB if this doesn't work so head over there. Enough for tonight. It's time for bed ... or laying on the couch on stake-out. :-) Toodles!

In re-reading my Saturday morning post, I see where my words may have been misunderstood by someone who doesn't understand for whom the post was written. To clarify: We awoke to a difficult situation early Saturday morning. It did not and does not involve the egging of our house, nor anyone outside of our house or family. It involved our youngest son and his incredibly bad choice that caused us to be roused from our bed. My rant of two posts ago was pointed directly at my youngest son, who made an incredibly stupid choice. My words were written to him, to further add to the lengthy discussion we had into the wee hours of Saturday morning. It was to reiterate everything Darrin and I had talked and ranted and raved and cried about to him. It was my plea to publicly tell him to smarten up and not take anything for granted. When I wrote that I would not tolerate anymore bad choices, I meant that this was his third bad choice in as many weeks and that Darrin and I are at the end of ...

Anchorage is mourning the loss of Buzzwinkle , who was euthanized after being found emaciated. Buzzwinkle received his name after imbibing some fermented crab apples. I read this morning about a 17-year-old Canadian teen being sentenced to one year in prison and 200 lashes. I don't condone this as a blanket punishment for everyone, however I believe the number of repeat offenders would be cut down considerable if this was a known consequence for illegal behaviour. I watched Lockdown last night. Some inmates were talking about their lives growing up and how things changed when they got older. They all said they, "should have called the police," but didn't for a variety of reasons. People who choose to get into bad situations and CHOOSE not to get themselves out or smack the dumb ass "friend" who is doing the illegal activity face the same consequences, if not more. Many of them are "scapegoats", whether truly or only in their imagination, but i...

Okay, I've got a more than a few things to rant about today. WTF!?!?!?!?!? First and foremost: I challenge the youngsters in the little SUV, who ONCE AGAIN egged our house, to have the kajonees (that's BALLS to those of you who can only spell in single letters and words without vowels) to come to my house . Bring your folks along! I'm sure we'll all get along splendidly . What's that? You can't make it? Maybe you don't want your parents to know? Well, let me come to you . No, no, it's no problem at all; I can easily accommodate you and your schedule. I welcome having an intelligent discussion and debate about the danger you put our family into when you hit our large 45-year-old picture window which, I'm sure your parents will agree , can be fatal if the brittle thing broke, hurting or killing the person sitting on the couch below the window. I'd love to hear from you! Give me a shout soon so we can get together. Love, hugs and kisses!! :-) On...

Well, my f*#$% laptop is driving me crazy!!!! I woke up Wednesday morning to find that it wasn't connected to the internet anymore. I tried to repair it and couldn't even find it. I reset the router, I restarted everything, I unplugged everything ... bloody hell!! I've finally decided to do a system restore to get it back to when it was working. If that doesn't work I'm throwing the damn thing in the garbage! Have you seen the show on TLC called I can make you thin? I've only seen commercials thus far, but after going to both the TLC website and Paul McKenna's website, I recognize similarities between this and the weigh down diet . The tapping technique is definitely interesting. I see it as a way to prolong the tingling hungry feeling, something to pass time - similar to praying in the WDD . A tool to pass time to see if that little sniggle is true hunger or if it is just a fat cell needing to die. :-) I followed WDD and lost a substantial amount of weight...

We've finally got Lucy and Joni's adventures up and running. Photos and videos. Have a look here . Toodles!

Kiershyn has posted my birthday party as an event on Facebook! Saturday, August 16, 2008 5:00 PM - 3:00 AM Woohoo!! I've been looking forward to this forever! Black balloons, black cake, over the hill decorations, fun fun fun! My wish list for my 40th is: world peace being debt free motorcycle Seriously, celebrating with family and friends is the best gift I can receive. :-) Looking forward to seeing you there!

The 25th is our nineteenth wedding anniversary. Wow! How the hell did that happen? August will bring 22 years as best friends. !?!?! Tonight was our night out, to reminisce. Instead, Darrin falls asleep on the couch and decides tomorrow will be better. After we get home from supper at the farm. Hmm... This kinda has "not gonna happen" written all over it. :-) Toodles!

Lucy and Joni's adventures have taken a little siesta, right off the start! In starting up the fan club, I neglected to remember that Dary has the camera and we can't show any footage of them. This idea initially started when Lucy was standing atop our snow pile in the back, looking like she was the queen on the castle. Joni was very tentative off the start, and still doesn't vault up like Lucy, but she gets there. I'm sure Lucy thinks she's a HUGE dog, the way she stands at the peak, lifts her head, and barks like crazy. She's letting all the neighborhood dogs know who's the boss! It's been 19 days since Dary's accident. He's still feeling some aches and pains, but he's definitely intact. Have we lingered on that day ever since? Of course not. But if he had died, my mind would agonize and analyze every second of that day. Breaking it down, seeing what could have been different, what I should have said, what he did say, the smiles, hugs and k...

The little dogs have a group on Facebook now. Check it out.

Life happens... A couple has intercourse and creates a new being. Tongue in cheek, if the soil, water and fertilizer are good, the result should be a healthy baby at 40 weeks. A mother goes into the nursery to change and feed her 4 month old daughter. Instead she finds her beautiful baby cold, lifeless body; another victim of SIDS. A horrific highway accident results in the occupants all walking away. A man bends over to tie his shoes and an aneurysm bursts in his head. He survives surgery and recovers. He is struck by a bus upon his release from the hospital. My point is that everything in life just happens. Not because of fate, divinity, or anything more than the earth revolving. Yesterday, Darrin was in a car accident. Everyone thought he was either dead or seriously injured. They started heaving on the door, attempting to open it when Darrin said, "Guys, guys, it's okay. Just give me a minute and then I'll climb out." Climbing out was easier said than done, but h...

It's been deemed pizza night in our house, which means I can either make the pizza or buy the pizza or buy and then make the pizza. I've opted for the former latter, ergo ... The house is already full with 4 teens. There are 4 more coming because once again there is NO SCHOOL ! Unbelievable. Tonight I am going to soak with my book and then hopefully snooze through the night. If the noise gets to be too much, I am pretty sure me coming down the stairs in my night shirt will cause more than a few nightmares. Toodles!

OMG! I'm wearing layers of clothing, typing with just my finger tips exposed, and still I'm cold. And that's IN the house. LOL It is -39 this morning. Thankfully there is no wind. Drey and I just returned from a little jaunt to 7-11, because I decided not to drive out to his work. We could see one house length in front of us. Scary. Time to get to work; Braunt's driving me so the car can stay in the garage today. Toodles!

What a glorious day - My flex day. The little extra time spent at the office pays off with this one beautiful day off during the week. I was going to do some shopping, maybe have lunch with a friend. Hit up some thrift stores, whatever! Then I woke up. Our thermometer beside the house is registering -30. The one by the garage appears to be about -33. Then there's the wind chill factor - one site is showing -46 and the other -47! That isn't very conducive to going anywhere, let alone hopping in and out of the car. Bloody hell! Speaking of bloody hell, and I only mean that this reminds me of the British, if a young lady and her family would like to speak with me about an incident Braunt was supposedly involved in, I welcome the phone call. There is no need for games of making accusations and threats, rather we should sitting down to discuss things rationally. Alternately you could find out who really perpetrated the egging of your house, and deal with them and their familie...

Let's begin '08 with a new keyword for this blog: Liptrum. A liptrum is a tantrum by Tulip. Like it? Tough! It's my word. Time to coin two new words. I am confident they will catch on and lead to my 15 minutes of fame (or at least a spot on the next Biggest Loser show - actually, I'd like that Extreme Makeover one better). My new word is, with spelling variations: Tim dip Timdip Tim-dip tim dip timdip tim-dip (n) The indent on a Timmie's lid that holds the flipped back lid as well as holding beverage overage. As per usual, I am posting this a few days later than originally written. So, go grab a Timmie's and take note if you are a sipper or non-sipper of the timdip. Toodles!

Wishing that your very best of 2007 is your worst of 2008. Last night I played with the little dogs, had fun kicking Dary's butt at Wii, conquered some more guitar hero 3 and hit the sack just after midnight. A call from Kier around 2:30 had me running over to help settle a little guy she was babysitting. My alarm went off at 5:30 so I headed back home to climb into bed until 11 this morning. I awoke to Braunt's lip having 5 stitches from a run in with a friend's fist. I hope the rest of 2008 isn't like the first 12 hours! A year in review on here: January: Started this month the same as many: examining the things I wanted to change and making a commitments to carry through. It lasted until about the 17th. LOL. Highlights include weight, person of the year, aneurysms, fat info, birthdays, kidnapped boys, blog counter hitting 3K. February: sick, death, remembering, editorial, trip. March: Trip to Mexico, anniversary. April: reality, football, more exercise talk, beliefs,...

I'd better get my post done now, or I won't get anything on here until '08! Merry Christmas to all who celebrate. A few of the other December holidays that are celebrated: Hanukkah (Jewish) -- Begins at sundown on December 4 (ends December 12) Saint Nicholas Day (Christian) -- December 6 Ramadan -- Began September 13 Eid al-Fitr (Muslim) -- October 13 Fiesta of Our Lady of Guadalupe (Mexican) -- December 12 St. Lucia Day (Swedish) -- December 13 Christmas (Christian) -- December 25 Boxing Day (Australian, Canadian, English, Irish) -- December 26 Kwanzaa (African American) -- December 26 to January 1 Omisoka (Japanese) -- December 31 Eid'ul-Adha (Muslim) -- December 20-22 Epiphany (Christian) -- January 6 Whatever your beliefs, be true to them. May the coming year include good health, the love of family and friends, few tears and much laughter and contentment. We are having a full house tonight with lots of food, fun and presents! I was able to get in touch with the No...

Things to ponder... Don't hold the lid of the crazy glue in your mouth while you're trying to put things together, then attempt to re-cap it by bringing it up to your mouth instead of removing the cap from your mouth to pop the lid on. Oy vey! Does anyone know how to get glue off lips, tongues and the inside of the mouth? Reasons to watch hockey... During the second intermission, there was an expose done on the Oilers - showing a bunch of them working out this summer. OH MY WOW OH ... I almost slipped off the chair!!!! Ladies (and select gentlemen), watch for that video on youtube - HOT OILER HOCKEY SUMMER ABS! Speaking of youtube... Going to get your nails done? Check out Anjelah Johnson's comedy routine about getting false nails. I laughed so hard! Want to laugh at some very politically incorrect comedy? Lisa Lampanelli will have you laughing so hard ... nothing beats her squirrel fighting to get out of a crown royal bag joke during the Pam Anderson roast or th...

Discuss: 8 year olds fighting - child abuse Cadbury gorilla Death of Christine falling off back of truck Golden Compass movie Xmas

This was the start of another FANTASTIC posting. I just never quite got back to it. :-) Drunk Driver still on streets Grampa molester FB fun

Where has this year gone? Hell, where has the past decade gone? Time is passing WAY too quickly! I'm pretty sure every time I say that another year hops by. Newsworthy tantrums for today? Teens and young adults: TAKE A BREATH AND WALK AWAY! We have too many kids getting hurt and killed when anger takes over and choosing violence is the result. One shot, puch, slap, nudge, bump - anything - can change lives. Yours, his/hers, family, friends.

BRING BACK THE BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's begin this rant with something that parents typically teach: DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING THAT ISN'T YOURS and DO UNTO OTHERS and DON'T STEAL! I would really like the scumbag bastards to return my bears AND my footstool, but I don't think it's going to happen. Let's just say that there is a really fine line as to which side of the fence one should be on. As well, SOME PARENTS DIDN'T DO A VERY GOOD JOB!!! Did you hear about Darcy Bannert ? He's the f-head who horrifically abused his girlfriend's 4-year-old daughter. The Crown Prosecutor filed an appeal because f-head's sentence was too lenient. [He got the MINIMUM sentence of 8 years, and after DOUBLE TIME CREDIT, is currently serving just a little over 5 years.] Three days later, f-head's lawyer ( how do defense lawyers sleep at night?? ) filed an appeal to have a new trial or for him to be acquitted, because the judge made a mistake (bullshit - her...

Stick figure drawing earns school suspension? Completely absurd story . Have you heard about the secret? I thought I only had my own secrets, but I have recently learned there is another secret that is a secret but that isn't because Rhonda Byrne discovered the secret and (for a nominal fee of $29.99 + tax) is passing it onto you!! A quote from the website: One spring day towards the end of 2004, Rhonda Byrne discovered a secret - the secret laws and principles of the universe. Let's have a look at this secret that Ms. Byrne would like us buy into. The secret itself is the "Law of Attraction" that people's feelings and thoughts attract real events in the world into their lives . This sounds like the Celestine Prophecy to me. Isn't that new age? Google "The Secret" and ( your belief system here) and see what you get. Creating One's Reality provides a christian response to the movie. Somehow Esther Hicks and Abraham are involved in this, t...

In keeping with my usual fashion, I am finishing this on October 18th. Mom, Re-reading my thoughts from long ago has been so interesting. I remember things being much harder in some ways and easier in others. I would love to go back to that time now, knowing that I would make it through and the my heart would heal. I think Dad and I were right about your stomach being the start of the end. You improved after the shunt was put in, however when your gastro problems started, your behaviour and energy level changed as well. The docs didn't listen to us when we said that your belly was swollen, and we thought it was causing a pressure disturbance in the shunt - simply physics really. That pressure caused the shunt to malfunction, which didn't allow the shunt to drain into your stomach, which eventually lead to your coma, stroke and demise. Is that what really happened? I don't know. I was going to contact Dr. Petryk's office a few months after for a copy of the autopsy res...

Mom, Well, this is my last letter to you. You passed away on February 13th at about 5:30 AM. We made the decision to let you go the day before. The doctors said that you had another aneurysm and it had burst and caused a couple of strokes. They said the brain damage was irreversible. (I should say that this letter will take a while to write, so I'll keep putting the time and date when I re-start.) (Mar.7 7:03 AM) Continuing on ... the doctors weren't very optimistic about the condition you would be in if you came out of the coma, so they thought it would be in your best interest to let you go. We knew you wouldn't want to be like that, so the decision was made. So, they took the respirator (ventilator) away and made you as comfortable as possible. We stayed at the hospital that night. I went in to sit with you about every hour. One time I went in, I made your hand to comfortings. You had been opening your eyes off and on, and as I did that you opened your eyes. When I put y...

Mom, I'm starting this now, but it will probably take me a while to finish it. Last Saturday night, you went into a coma. We weren't sure if you were going to make it, but you did. I don't know where to start. There is a scale that they measure the deepness of a coma with. I am considered to be a 15. You've been everywhere from a 10 down to a 4. Today you've mostly been a 6, but you dropped to a 4. You had a grand-mal seizure this morning at 7:05 AM. It lasted 3 minutes. That isn't very good. Since then, your cerebral fluid has been red with blood. I don't know what that means, but I talk to Di on Friday morning so I'll find out more then. Your blood pressure dropped very low yesterday morning and again tonight at 8:30 PM. Nana flew down on Sunday night. Uncle Rick and Rita were down Sunday and left Monday. I'm so scared for you. This going up and down stuff is really stressful. Your blood pressure went really low tonight and yesterda...

Mom, Well, you're not doing very well right now. You're very incoherent, you're having trouble with your speech and your body isn't really under your control. They operated on your shunt yesterday; it was plugged near your stomach. You also have a blocked intestine, but I'm not sure what they're going to do about it. The doctors don't know why you're like this, but they're telling us that it's because of some drugs they had you on. I hope you get better soon. Dad said that you were a little better last night, so that's good. I went to see you last Saturday and went to see Darrin's Oma on Sunday. She's really sick now, and will be passing away soon. I wish she'd go quickly as she's suffering quite a bit. I went and saw Wendy Gray on Monday night. Her cancer has moved into her lungs now and she too doesn't have much time left. She's down to 108 lbs and looks horrible. She usually weighs around 135 to 140 lbs. Well, gotta...

Mom, Well, when I wrote earlier today, I guess I wasn't fully informed. I talked to Dad at 1:30 today and he told me everything that's happening so far. When they took you back to the hospital this past Sunday, they put you onto some pretty heavy medication. You started going downhill right after that. You're not vomiting anymore or eating or drinking. You've begun rambling, you don't really have control of your hands or anything, your head lays to the side all of the time, and you can't sit up or stand at all. Dad seems pretty upset by all of it, mainly because he doesn't know what it is or if it will be permanent. What's really upsetting is that the doctors don't know what's wrong either. Dad says that you look like a zombie. They took you off of the drugs last night and took your IV out last night. The doctors were going to see how you were last night for the first couple of hours after they stopped the drugs, but Dad said that there ...

Mom, I'm going to try to write you a quick note, but Kiershyn should be getting up right away, so I might have to cut this short. I have quite a bit of stuff to bring you up to date on, so if I don't finish, I'll finish it later. First of all, you are back in the Royal and they've put in an IV. You've started eating and it's affecting your stomach, so they've put Depends on you. I think that's a good idea as it means you don't have to get up, which seems to be the only time you throw up. Other than being in the hospital, you're doing pretty good. Your short term memory is sketchy some times, but that's to be expected. Darrin's Oma is going into the hospital today. She's gotten really bad and can't be at home anymore. It won't be very long now. I hope it goes quickly so that she doesn't have to suffer. Wendy Gray's cancer has moved into her lungs. She called me yesterday and we talked for a couple of hours. Sh...

Mom, Hi there. This will just be a quick note to bring you up to date. Sorry it's been so long since I last wrote. Not much happened for the first few days after I last wrote, and then Auntie Debbie, Uncle Rocky and the kids came down Thursday afternoon. They left yesterday morning. They moved you to the Glenrose for a couple of days, but you weren't ready yet. They took you back to the Royal on Sunday. They still don't know what's making you vomit, so they've put in another IV. You were honestly trying to eat, but you kept throwing it up. It sometimes seems like a very long road, but I know that you'll make it through. I just wish that road wasn't so damn bumpy for you. I took Kiershyn and Drey to the doctor today. Auntie Deb and I thought that Kiershyn must weight about 10 pounds or more, but she doesn't. She now weighs 8 lbs 15 1/2 oz and is 21 1/8" long. Drey weights in at 21 lbs 15 oz and is 31" long. I then had an appointmen...

Mom, Hi there. Not much new to write since I wrote this afternoon. Kiershyn has finally gone to sleep and Drey just got a little more milk so he'll be going to sleep soon, so Dary and I will be able to veg out for a bit without the brats being up. Darrin found out that he tore his kneecap and pulled the ligaments and tendons too. Dr. Goede is sending him to a specialist and they'll be using an orthoscope to check out the damage. He's quite nervous about it, but I'm sure he won't mind if it will take the pain away. He's going to have to have an operation soon, but the specialist will tell us everything later on. I guess I should bring you up to date on Dary's Oma. Her cancer is happening quite quickly. The tumour is affecting her bowels now, and she passes quite a bit of blood whenever she goes to the bathroom. A nurse comes to the house every day to check on her. The doctors want to take her bowels out and put in a bag, but I think that's silly....

Mom, Well, it's one of those days. I've started weening Drey off of his bottle today. It's turning out to be very interesting. I had started it last week, but he could take the lid off the cup I had, so it didn't work out. We picked up a new cup yesterday and we've started again. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better than today. Drey's starting to show that he's ready for potty teaching. I think I'm going to start that once he's weened from his daytime bottle. I haven't even attempted to break him of his nap and night time bottle, but that will come later. Anyways, he's starting to show signs that he's getting ready for the potty. He usually goes away when he's having a bm. He knows what it means when I say let's go change his pants. He gets quite upset when I change his poo pants. And various other little signs. So, we'll be starting that in a little while. Darrin is at the doctor's office right now. He fel...

Mom, Hi there. I don't know what I'm going to write about, but I feel like talking to you. Darrin went up to see you today. He really noticed the difference in you too. He said that you had wanted to go home this weekend, but the doctors said that you weren't drinking or eating enough, and that you were going to try harder to get something down. I'm really happy about that. I guess you took your IV out last night, but they were going to put another one in today. Michelle ( Madro ) came over today. She stayed for a couple of hours. It was really nice to see her. She said that Drey is definitely cute. I told her that I thought so, but that I'm prejudiced. She agreed with me, but assured me that he's very cute. We had a really nice visit. She didn't hold Kiershyn much, but Kiershyn was hungry and ate most of the time she was awake. A lot of things came up for me when I saw you yesterday. I found it really hard when you said you missed me and I s...

Twyla's note: My poor father, dealing with so much by himself. And such a silly girl I was, thinking I was so important. Mom, Hi there! I went up to the hospital to see you last night. It's been 2 weeks since I last saw you. Although you're still vomiting, you have changed so much. The improvement is just phenomenal! Your state of mind and disposition have improved so much that I was really shocked. Last time I saw you, you were only concerned with yourself. Last night you were only concerned with everyone else. We had such a nice visit. You were back to being "Mom". It was so nice. We talked about a lot of things, and rest assured that I'm taping the kids for you. You said you missed me, and I really miss you and can't wait until you're feeling even better. I have to admit that before this visit, I was feeling really despondent about going to see you, because there didn't seem to be any change. I was wondering if that was the way you...

Mom, Hi there. I don't really have much to write about today, so I figured I'd bring you up to date on some of the news. I don't know if you'll remember this, but Iraq invaded Kuwait. The US and Canada have both sent troops over there. Iraq has been presented with a January 15 th deadline for leaving Kuwait, but I don't think that they will. If they don't the US has stated that they will take military action. War looks imminent. Just like everyone else, I wish it didn't have to come to this, but I'm pretty sure that it will. I'll keep you updated on what's happening. I called the hospital this morning to see how you're doing. I guess you had a rough night as you were very nauseous and were vomiting quite a bit. You slept from about 3:30 AM to 7:30 AM. They are giving you morphine and gravol . I hope that you start feeling better soon. It's finally warming up a bit, so I hope to come and visit you one night soon. I don'...